Ach, I should’ve known she’d resort to tears next. Gina, you’re too dang good at capturing the frustrating and confusing experience of toxic parenting.
I am assuming that she is not plotting “I will cry now”. But, it does look like bad acting on looking at this more. I had a friend with more ballistic mental illness than me, I think, and she would badly act in her upsets. So, I’m still leaning toward that she tells herself what she says is what she believes.
If it were planned out, what would the goal be? She wants to have a false belief that she’s done no wrong? I don’t think so.
I agree she would have to acknowledge her fears and her failings. Maybe it’s not likely to happen.
It not being plotted out and wicked, doesn’t excuse her, like nothing excuses people, entirely. Otherwise admirable people are still responsible for their actions.
After Miel made his feelings clear and with all the support in the room, and Miel looking angry, I’m hoping there’s not much Amaryllis can do. In the restaurant, it was a new experience for Miel and family and she was manipulating Miel. Here she’s manipulating Abeille, in front of her supporters.
As a person who’s used this kind of toxic techniques on other people before (and has also been subjected to it more than once), I can say that I doubt it’s calculated. I would cause a huge scene, for example, and burst into tears the moment I was called out on it; all based on pure instinct, not planned beforehand at all. (So I was a manipulative little shit, but completely unaware of it).
If Amaryllis is anything like me or these other people I know, she genuinely believes what she’s saying at the moment, and doesn’t realize that her actions are the real problem here. In my experience, people would need to stop enabling her behavior for her to even realize that she’s doing something (everything?) wrong.
I think Abeille is actually doing what has needed to be done to stop enabling her. My main gripe is the ease with which people want to kick Amaryllis out. If a child is difficult, do you throw them out and get another one? I’m not a mother so I can’t entirely know what this means.
For me, people matter, they are unique. You don’t throw them out when they do something you don’t like. These days there is an exile button in twitter and a keyboard shortcut so you can exile effortlessly, when someone says something you don’t like.
I know what it’s like to be exiled and what it’s like to have people like Amaryllis to deal with.
Abeille doesn’t see it as an easy thing to get rid of Amaryllis. She loves Amaryllis, I think. If things work out the way I hope, she can express that she loves Amaryllis and insist on her independence, without having poisoned herself with hate. She won’t have kicked Amaryllis out, just set boundaries and insisted on them being respected.
Abeille’s certainly taking the first steps to do it, yes. I’m mainly looking at Mallow here.
I think I know what you mean, although I understand people’s anger with Amaryllis as well. Yes, she is a person, but an extremely toxic one, and setting boundaries with people like that can mean cutting them out of your life altogether (at least for a time), if they repeatedly refuse to respect your wishes. Not to punish them, but to give yourself space to heal that you wouldn’t have otherwise with them still around.
Does Amaryllis deserve help? Yes. Is anyone (Abeille, Mallow, whoever) obligated to sacrifice themselves to help her? I don’t think so. They can choose to do it out of kindness/love, but no one should force them. They are not responsible for anyone but themselves.
She’s projecting, but I also feel like it might have been a shot across the bow… like “keep refusing me, and I’ll tell everyone here about how you killed your sister”, and I’m 1000% certain Abeille has heard her mother’s version of that event many, many times. Like Amaryllis is just waiting for someone to ask about it.
It’s in the playbook. “Anger doesn’t work, play the victim”. Seriously, it’s like they have a script they all follow, with so little actual deviation.
Abeille, it doesn’t matter what you tell your mother, unless you are willing to be under her thumb and make her the focus of your life, she literally won’t care.
Also HOLY CRAP Amaryllis’s crocodile tears face in panel two reminds me SO MUCH of a certain person. It’s both hilarious and slightly terrifying.
Something about Miel’s face in that last panel makes me think that he just realized something. Like something about the extent of her mother’s emotional manipulation and abuse just clicked as he watches Amaryllis switch gears from boundary-crossing anger to tearful sadness that makes this situation all about her feelings instead of the feelings of the people she is hurting.
It is. It’s very confusing and very hard to challenge when you’re their child because they know *everything* that makes you tick and they know how to play you like a fiddle to keep you in their control. They’ll say anything and do anything to keep you pulled in and Amaryllis is going to keep amping it up until she gets tired or runs out of ideas. This is not the time for communication because she has switched to tactical mode.
The good news is that Abielle has had some time away from her now, which is great for finding your footing when you’ve been gaslit like that. Even if she gets pulled back in, she’ll be better at recognizing this pattern of behavior and might be able to get herself out of it. She now knows that she deserves better and can have better. She has hope.
Maybe a bit of both? I admittedly was never a psych major, but I don’t think having one psychological issue precludes also having another. I certainly knew at least one person who had all the traits of narcissistic personality disorder, but was also officially diagnosed with BPD, and wow, is that an abuse/manipulation smorgasbord until they finally got the proper meds to get the BPD under control. However, even though they are a much nicer, less abusive person now thanks to the meds, the narcissism is still very obviously there, and they were still incredibly manipulative and self-involved as a result.
I see she has a whole palette of emotions to work with. Amaryllis, had you even once asked yourself what Abeille’s feelings are at all with touching or what drove her away from home in the first place?
Ha. Woooow. Didn’t expect that, but really should have. I’d loooooooooove to believe you there Amerillis but you’re only hurting your daughter. And Miel doesn’t like this oooone bit. If you loved your daughter you wouldn’t scream at her supportive SO. You wouldn’t say there is something WRONG with her.
Almost a repeat of what happened with Miel’s family, in the restaurant, but with more convincing tears: https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch16-p47/ All the same people have seen the same and hopefully won’t repeat the same response.
I’m looking very much forward to seeing something different happen with Amaryllis. The deliberately manipulative schtick has been sufficiently covered, I think
He’s always supportive, just feebly. There is a lot to “yes dear”. Why is it disgusting when a man says that compared to a woman. Do you want the man to make everything right? I’m not sure that Monotropa is the same as earth. Men are not always in the same position on earth.
What’s different is that the room is all in support of Abeille’s independence, except for Amaryllis
Oh boy, I hate to throw shade on someone crying, but… tears are often used to hide anger, typically more from women than men because it’s more socially acceptable.
This feels very fake of Amaryllis. If what was happening with her daugther really _did_ pain her, why was she completely dry-eyed at Abeille’s home, telling Abeille that behaviour “has to stop” with a firm look alone, and yet weeps here so easily, precisely when she’s losing ground on her arguments with others?
Fake it is, but the idea that tears are used to Hide anger… Anger as an emotion catalyzes from sadness and disappointment. Sad and angry easily go back and forth from one another without any sort of manipulation involved.
And Like you say, it is more socially acceptable to be sad than to be angry. Because being angry at the wrong time is dangerous and you don’t want to go there. Of Course someone more in touch with their emotions would try to process the anger back down to being sad.
I don’t like the implication that you are inherently being manipulative just because of trying to process your feelings in a mature way.
That.. sounds like one heck of a guilt-trip and some self-projecting. Abeille’s an adult at this point – well past the age of ‘running away from home’.. that’s called moving out. And at this point, it’s not like her sister died recently. Yes, she’s still grieving and coping with it. But from experience? When you lose a family member, that doesn’t really end, just changes over time.
To be fair, Abeille also uses the exact same phrase, “running away from home”, to describe how she left Pasque: https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch14-p06/ Not quite sure what that means in the context of the comics… Are famlial expectations on Pasque different than in our current Western culture? Do Abeille and Amaryllis use the same phrase because they both know that Abeille really was running away from dealing with her grief and guilt?
Hwaha hahahahaha. I had to cut my parents out of my life recently because they tried this nonsense. They refused to see me as their daughter literally years after i came out as trans.
Being trans is difficult. For me, living in an ultra-conservative area, it’s constant. I don’t think there is a formula for how to react. People have to take care of themselves first. If a parent makes it black and white, there’s probably not a lot that can be done other than to shut them out, until things change, if ever.
Miel’s subtle expression of WTF is great. Really drives home that she is being amazingly manipulative. He is on the outside and be a more objective observer.
Ya know, it just occurred to me that the one who clearly hasn’t made sense of the sister’s death isn’t A but the mom… she clearly hasn’t dealt with it and needs some help/therapy.
I hope this is the final straw for everyone around Amaryllis. Heck, I’m half-expecting Mallow to finally just be like, ‘Okay, we’re done here, we need to leave.’
The part of this page that stands out the most for me is Miel’s expression in the last panel. He’s seeing what Abeille has had to deal with from her mother and understanding the level of guilt tripping and emotional manipulation she’s endured. I’m looking forward to Miel and his wonderful mothers taking Abeille under their wings and supporting her while putting Amaryllis in her place.
“I can’t sit back and watch you hurt yourself,” Amaryllis says. “I really must take an active role, to ensure you’re getting hurt *properly* you know.”
I knew that Amaryllis would resort to tears if screaming didn’t work. Hopefully it seems like Miel isn’t buying it.
I have to say that I’ve never seen the manipulative/narcissistic parent behavior represented so masterfully in fiction, I’m impressed.
And again the background accompanies what is happening masterfully. See how there is a “spotlight” on Amaryllis in panels 2 and 4?
Since she’s not getting anywhere with her “blame Miel and/or his parents for what Abeille is CHOOSING to do”, she immediately tries to switch focus on herself and her “pain”, playing the victim and trying to get people to do what she wants them to do by these means.
not excusing any of the mother’s behavior, but while everyone is screaming manipulation I’m over here practically looking in a mirror of my BAD mental health days. I struggle with anxiety and depression and when I’m in a downward spiral I swing from these extreme bouts of anger and right into crushing depression that sends me into the waterworks. I really think Abiel’s mom has undiagnosed depression (or some other mental illness) and guess what the first step in treatment is. Touching. Hugs. Not joking.
Her mother was always pretty terrible to Abeille. There have been a couple flashbacks where she was talked down to by her mother before her sister passed away.
In Chapter 17, page 3, Amaryllis picks up Abeille from a sport practice and immediately compares her to Evette, and how she should be studying like her (and also how she dislikes her ‘uncouth miner friends’). In the same chapter, page 40, she interrupts a moment between Abeille and her sister by telling her to stop distracting her sister. She again states that she should be studying like Evette and then asks Abeille why she can’t just focus like her sister does.
But even if you ignore those two flashbacks, Abeille talks down about herself and how she isn’t smart, throughout the entire series. At one point in the beginning chapters, she says in conversation with Miel, “I come from a family of scientists so I kind of grew up failing expectations.” That statement alone says so much about how Amaryllis treated Abeille growing up. And then later in the series while she is arguing with Poppy, she yells out, “You always think you know what’s best for me just like everyone else!”
Her mother is gaslighting her at this point and I believe its not just from depression. Depression doesn’t do… Well, Abeille’s entire life lol. Amaryllis put down Abeille in front of Miel and his family at dinner, then left abruptly and caused Abeille to chase after her whereupon she gave Abeille a sentimental cold ice container thing to show “how much she cares”. She tries to dictate her time and does not respect Abeille enough to allow her to have any boundaries. She causes a huge scene these last few pages and then when other adults stand up for the adult children making their own adult choices, she flips 180 and cries to make Abeille feel guilty, and to reap the reward of having her daughter try to console her. Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile.
(Sorry, that was so long winded. I just recently reread the entire series in one go and so that mother-daughter relationship has been very fresh in my mind, lol!)
I love Miel in the last panel. He’s done nothing but respect Abeille and her boundaries. He has never pressured her to do or talk about anything she doesn’t want to. He’s never had any expectations or demands of her. He knows where she is at in her grieving and has been supportive of her grieving in whatever ways she has needed to. And yet here he is, having to witness Abeille’s mom dictate Abeille’s thoughts and individuality. And I’m sure her guilt and low self esteem its all starting to make sense to him.
I think the white circle behind Amaryllis in panels 2 & 4 is interesting. It’s reminiscent of a stage spotlight, which…is perfect for what she’s doing.
She’s already made sense of Evette’s death. She was the one who caused it. Amaryllis is the one who needs to come to terms with it, but she already hated Abeille before Evette died.
Ach, I should’ve known she’d resort to tears next. Gina, you’re too dang good at capturing the frustrating and confusing experience of toxic parenting.
Second panel sounds like she’s actually experiencing those feelings herself and projecting them unto Abeille.
That doesn’t excuse bad parenting, but it would imply that almost any change in her behavior first requires her to acknowledge her own feelings.
I am assuming that she is not plotting “I will cry now”. But, it does look like bad acting on looking at this more. I had a friend with more ballistic mental illness than me, I think, and she would badly act in her upsets. So, I’m still leaning toward that she tells herself what she says is what she believes.
If it were planned out, what would the goal be? She wants to have a false belief that she’s done no wrong? I don’t think so.
I agree she would have to acknowledge her fears and her failings. Maybe it’s not likely to happen.
It not being plotted out and wicked, doesn’t excuse her, like nothing excuses people, entirely. Otherwise admirable people are still responsible for their actions.
After Miel made his feelings clear and with all the support in the room, and Miel looking angry, I’m hoping there’s not much Amaryllis can do. In the restaurant, it was a new experience for Miel and family and she was manipulating Miel. Here she’s manipulating Abeille, in front of her supporters.
As a person who’s used this kind of toxic techniques on other people before (and has also been subjected to it more than once), I can say that I doubt it’s calculated. I would cause a huge scene, for example, and burst into tears the moment I was called out on it; all based on pure instinct, not planned beforehand at all. (So I was a manipulative little shit, but completely unaware of it).
If Amaryllis is anything like me or these other people I know, she genuinely believes what she’s saying at the moment, and doesn’t realize that her actions are the real problem here. In my experience, people would need to stop enabling her behavior for her to even realize that she’s doing something (everything?) wrong.
I think Abeille is actually doing what has needed to be done to stop enabling her. My main gripe is the ease with which people want to kick Amaryllis out. If a child is difficult, do you throw them out and get another one? I’m not a mother so I can’t entirely know what this means.
For me, people matter, they are unique. You don’t throw them out when they do something you don’t like. These days there is an exile button in twitter and a keyboard shortcut so you can exile effortlessly, when someone says something you don’t like.
I know what it’s like to be exiled and what it’s like to have people like Amaryllis to deal with.
Abeille doesn’t see it as an easy thing to get rid of Amaryllis. She loves Amaryllis, I think. If things work out the way I hope, she can express that she loves Amaryllis and insist on her independence, without having poisoned herself with hate. She won’t have kicked Amaryllis out, just set boundaries and insisted on them being respected.
Abeille’s certainly taking the first steps to do it, yes. I’m mainly looking at Mallow here.
I think I know what you mean, although I understand people’s anger with Amaryllis as well. Yes, she is a person, but an extremely toxic one, and setting boundaries with people like that can mean cutting them out of your life altogether (at least for a time), if they repeatedly refuse to respect your wishes. Not to punish them, but to give yourself space to heal that you wouldn’t have otherwise with them still around.
Does Amaryllis deserve help? Yes. Is anyone (Abeille, Mallow, whoever) obligated to sacrifice themselves to help her? I don’t think so. They can choose to do it out of kindness/love, but no one should force them. They are not responsible for anyone but themselves.
Oh that may be the case – but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t *also* a manipulative play.
She’s projecting, but I also feel like it might have been a shot across the bow… like “keep refusing me, and I’ll tell everyone here about how you killed your sister”, and I’m 1000% certain Abeille has heard her mother’s version of that event many, many times. Like Amaryllis is just waiting for someone to ask about it.
It’s in the playbook. “Anger doesn’t work, play the victim”. Seriously, it’s like they have a script they all follow, with so little actual deviation.
Abeille, it doesn’t matter what you tell your mother, unless you are willing to be under her thumb and make her the focus of your life, she literally won’t care.
Also HOLY CRAP Amaryllis’s crocodile tears face in panel two reminds me SO MUCH of a certain person. It’s both hilarious and slightly terrifying.
Ugh… she is so manipulative!
Hoo boy. SOMEBODY needs a hug…
…I’m sorry, did I say “hug?” I meant “German suplex.”
LOL. Sometimes I come here to just read the comments as they’re as entertaining as the comic.
Wow, straight to emotional blackmailing and gaslighting. Someone, please, deck her.
Something about Miel’s face in that last panel makes me think that he just realized something. Like something about the extent of her mother’s emotional manipulation and abuse just clicked as he watches Amaryllis switch gears from boundary-crossing anger to tearful sadness that makes this situation all about her feelings instead of the feelings of the people she is hurting.
My thoughts exactly.
Wow that’s so manipulative, it must be so hard to have a parent do that.
It is. It’s very confusing and very hard to challenge when you’re their child because they know *everything* that makes you tick and they know how to play you like a fiddle to keep you in their control. They’ll say anything and do anything to keep you pulled in and Amaryllis is going to keep amping it up until she gets tired or runs out of ideas. This is not the time for communication because she has switched to tactical mode.
The good news is that Abielle has had some time away from her now, which is great for finding your footing when you’ve been gaslit like that. Even if she gets pulled back in, she’ll be better at recognizing this pattern of behavior and might be able to get herself out of it. She now knows that she deserves better and can have better. She has hope.
Hooo boy this is some toxic narcissistic bullshit. I can also see that Miel isn’t falling for it either.
This is actually more like Borderline Personality toxic bullshit.
Maybe a bit of both? I admittedly was never a psych major, but I don’t think having one psychological issue precludes also having another. I certainly knew at least one person who had all the traits of narcissistic personality disorder, but was also officially diagnosed with BPD, and wow, is that an abuse/manipulation smorgasbord until they finally got the proper meds to get the BPD under control. However, even though they are a much nicer, less abusive person now thanks to the meds, the narcissism is still very obviously there, and they were still incredibly manipulative and self-involved as a result.
I see she has a whole palette of emotions to work with. Amaryllis, had you even once asked yourself what Abeille’s feelings are at all with touching or what drove her away from home in the first place?
Ha. Woooow. Didn’t expect that, but really should have. I’d loooooooooove to believe you there Amerillis but you’re only hurting your daughter. And Miel doesn’t like this oooone bit. If you loved your daughter you wouldn’t scream at her supportive SO. You wouldn’t say there is something WRONG with her.
Ooooh shit, the manipulative tears
Miel in the last pannel has been all of us for the past few weeks of updates.
Mm-HM. Truth.
Almost a repeat of what happened with Miel’s family, in the restaurant, but with more convincing tears: https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch16-p47/ All the same people have seen the same and hopefully won’t repeat the same response.
I’m looking very much forward to seeing something different happen with Amaryllis. The deliberately manipulative schtick has been sufficiently covered, I think
Crocodile tears.
Sweet Mother of Purple! Please let her Father stand up for her at least1
It doesn’t seem like he’s ever stood up to her in the entirety of Abeille’s life so why would it change being in this situation.
He’s always supportive, just feebly. There is a lot to “yes dear”. Why is it disgusting when a man says that compared to a woman. Do you want the man to make everything right? I’m not sure that Monotropa is the same as earth. Men are not always in the same position on earth.
What’s different is that the room is all in support of Abeille’s independence, except for Amaryllis
When you project your own insecurities, and problems and solutions onto your children.
I’m curious about Amaryllis’s background.
Oh boy, I hate to throw shade on someone crying, but… tears are often used to hide anger, typically more from women than men because it’s more socially acceptable.
This feels very fake of Amaryllis. If what was happening with her daugther really _did_ pain her, why was she completely dry-eyed at Abeille’s home, telling Abeille that behaviour “has to stop” with a firm look alone, and yet weeps here so easily, precisely when she’s losing ground on her arguments with others?
Fake it is, but the idea that tears are used to Hide anger… Anger as an emotion catalyzes from sadness and disappointment. Sad and angry easily go back and forth from one another without any sort of manipulation involved.
And Like you say, it is more socially acceptable to be sad than to be angry. Because being angry at the wrong time is dangerous and you don’t want to go there. Of Course someone more in touch with their emotions would try to process the anger back down to being sad.
I don’t like the implication that you are inherently being manipulative just because of trying to process your feelings in a mature way.
Is Amaryllis taking advantage of her ability to keep a grip on it in this case to score some cheap concerned mother points, though? Yeah, absolutely.
Just want to be clear I don’t condone the Use of self-control here. The self-control by itself is fine.
Holy Zeus. No wonder she ran away from home. Imagine living with this drama! I would have run away too… to like another planet too!
That.. sounds like one heck of a guilt-trip and some self-projecting. Abeille’s an adult at this point – well past the age of ‘running away from home’.. that’s called moving out. And at this point, it’s not like her sister died recently. Yes, she’s still grieving and coping with it. But from experience? When you lose a family member, that doesn’t really end, just changes over time.
To be fair, Abeille also uses the exact same phrase, “running away from home”, to describe how she left Pasque:
https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch14-p06/ Not quite sure what that means in the context of the comics… Are famlial expectations on Pasque different than in our current Western culture? Do Abeille and Amaryllis use the same phrase because they both know that Abeille really was running away from dealing with her grief and guilt?
Hwaha hahahahaha. I had to cut my parents out of my life recently because they tried this nonsense. They refused to see me as their daughter literally years after i came out as trans.
Being trans is difficult. For me, living in an ultra-conservative area, it’s constant. I don’t think there is a formula for how to react. People have to take care of themselves first. If a parent makes it black and white, there’s probably not a lot that can be done other than to shut them out, until things change, if ever.
Miel’s subtle expression of WTF is great. Really drives home that she is being amazingly manipulative. He is on the outside and be a more objective observer.
Ya know, it just occurred to me that the one who clearly hasn’t made sense of the sister’s death isn’t A but the mom… she clearly hasn’t dealt with it and needs some help/therapy.
I hope this is the final straw for everyone around Amaryllis. Heck, I’m half-expecting Mallow to finally just be like, ‘Okay, we’re done here, we need to leave.’
Miel has the face of someone who is about to say “aw, hell naw. You ain’t doing this crap in my home.”
“Nobody is agreeing me with me. Time to whip up some tears and bring up the dead child!” Well, Amaryllis’ has worked her schtick into a fine science.
Oof right in the “I have an emotionally manipulative mother who projects her own insecurities onto her children” feels.
The part of this page that stands out the most for me is Miel’s expression in the last panel. He’s seeing what Abeille has had to deal with from her mother and understanding the level of guilt tripping and emotional manipulation she’s endured. I’m looking forward to Miel and his wonderful mothers taking Abeille under their wings and supporting her while putting Amaryllis in her place.
Yikes on a bike.
+1
I’m having flashbacks to dealing with my mother-in-law from this. She’s manipulative and emotionally abused my husband through his life too.
The tears seem to very much be a “anger didn’t get me what I wanted – time to cry and play the ‘oh woe unto poor little me’ card!”
Oooh, she’s good. In the worst meaning of good.
“I can’t sit back and watch you hurt yourself,” Amaryllis says. “I really must take an active role, to ensure you’re getting hurt *properly* you know.”
I knew that Amaryllis would resort to tears if screaming didn’t work. Hopefully it seems like Miel isn’t buying it.
I have to say that I’ve never seen the manipulative/narcissistic parent behavior represented so masterfully in fiction, I’m impressed.
And again the background accompanies what is happening masterfully. See how there is a “spotlight” on Amaryllis in panels 2 and 4?
Since she’s not getting anywhere with her “blame Miel and/or his parents for what Abeille is CHOOSING to do”, she immediately tries to switch focus on herself and her “pain”, playing the victim and trying to get people to do what she wants them to do by these means.
not excusing any of the mother’s behavior, but while everyone is screaming manipulation I’m over here practically looking in a mirror of my BAD mental health days. I struggle with anxiety and depression and when I’m in a downward spiral I swing from these extreme bouts of anger and right into crushing depression that sends me into the waterworks. I really think Abiel’s mom has undiagnosed depression (or some other mental illness) and guess what the first step in treatment is. Touching. Hugs. Not joking.
Her mother was always pretty terrible to Abeille. There have been a couple flashbacks where she was talked down to by her mother before her sister passed away.
In Chapter 17, page 3, Amaryllis picks up Abeille from a sport practice and immediately compares her to Evette, and how she should be studying like her (and also how she dislikes her ‘uncouth miner friends’). In the same chapter, page 40, she interrupts a moment between Abeille and her sister by telling her to stop distracting her sister. She again states that she should be studying like Evette and then asks Abeille why she can’t just focus like her sister does.
But even if you ignore those two flashbacks, Abeille talks down about herself and how she isn’t smart, throughout the entire series. At one point in the beginning chapters, she says in conversation with Miel, “I come from a family of scientists so I kind of grew up failing expectations.” That statement alone says so much about how Amaryllis treated Abeille growing up. And then later in the series while she is arguing with Poppy, she yells out, “You always think you know what’s best for me just like everyone else!”
Her mother is gaslighting her at this point and I believe its not just from depression. Depression doesn’t do… Well, Abeille’s entire life lol. Amaryllis put down Abeille in front of Miel and his family at dinner, then left abruptly and caused Abeille to chase after her whereupon she gave Abeille a sentimental cold ice container thing to show “how much she cares”. She tries to dictate her time and does not respect Abeille enough to allow her to have any boundaries. She causes a huge scene these last few pages and then when other adults stand up for the adult children making their own adult choices, she flips 180 and cries to make Abeille feel guilty, and to reap the reward of having her daughter try to console her. Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile.
(Sorry, that was so long winded. I just recently reread the entire series in one go and so that mother-daughter relationship has been very fresh in my mind, lol!)
And by the way – “uncouth miner kids”?
THESE PEOPLE ARE THE BACKBONE OF ANY SELF-RESPECTING FROSTLAND SOCIETY, LADY! Respect their hard work.
I’m definitely dumb here, but where were the comic pages where Evette dies?
https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch13-p24/ There are pages in which she is mentioned or appears in visualization on an unofficial wiki https://lovenotfound-fans.fandom.com/wiki/Characters#Evette There needs to be a “story arc” section for Evette and Abeille, but isn’t yet.
“As a mom I can’t just sit back and watch you hurt yourself.” when I can do it so much better.
Wow, she needs to be more grounded. We usually ground people by putting hands on their arms.
Or maybe she needs to be ground. Put her into a grinder… social grinder of course.
I love Miel in the last panel. He’s done nothing but respect Abeille and her boundaries. He has never pressured her to do or talk about anything she doesn’t want to. He’s never had any expectations or demands of her. He knows where she is at in her grieving and has been supportive of her grieving in whatever ways she has needed to. And yet here he is, having to witness Abeille’s mom dictate Abeille’s thoughts and individuality. And I’m sure her guilt and low self esteem its all starting to make sense to him.
I think the white circle behind Amaryllis in panels 2 & 4 is interesting. It’s reminiscent of a stage spotlight, which…is perfect for what she’s doing.
She’s already made sense of Evette’s death. She was the one who caused it. Amaryllis is the one who needs to come to terms with it, but she already hated Abeille before Evette died.
I feel attacked by this… I didn’t realize how much my mom gasslit me until I read this panel. Now I’m really uncomfortable.