It would be so sad if Holly separates from Ivy and Aster. I’m not sure what separating would mean, though. I can’t imagine it would be easy to be Holly in this situation. It seemed hard figuring out what was going on between Ivy and Holly, before Aster was there.
I would like to think they don’t need to decide something so broad as whether or not they are in a relationship. It’s ok for Holly to be unsure. I hope they do what they are comfortable with.
I’ve related very strongly to Holly getting dragged into a poly situation he’s not comfortable with. This dynamic is a thing Ivy and Aster want, and he’s just trying to find some happiness. Him leaving the relationship would be a step towards freedom and growth, where he can pursue what he wants and needs
I only got a favorable view of poly relationships from this comic and several on Filthy Figments. When I was a kid we mostly slept with everyone on top of having pair relationships and there were lots of hurt feelings and some lifelong scars, I think. Other than that I haven’t had a poly relationship, so I don’t really know about them.
I can at least relate to the idea that on the spectrum of relationship styles, are friend + romance type relationships that may or may not involve sex and aren’t partner relationships (I wish I could find again the poster-like thing someone tweeted during pride month, saying much of this). Asexual people can have partners involving sex or not. Etc. I’ve experienced some of that spectrum.
I would hope that people who are in those relationships are allowed to find out they can’t handle it and they are not pressured to stay or made to feel bad for having trouble.
I think it would be a valuable plot point if Holly is having trouble being in the relationship even if Ivy and Aster could convince him that he’s welcomed.
In the way that I perceive their relationship, he could separate in some specific ways and still be in a relationship with Ivy, whatever that means.
For me, partners were always friends first. From less to more: friend, best friend, partner… “Breaking up” meant specific things, like not sleeping in the same bed. I lived with my ex for over a year after we broke up.
I’ve still tried to keep friendships with partners I’ve had in my life time. And I, at least, consider them part of my family. Whatever they do, I hope Ivy and Holly grow closer as a result.
It’s obvious Verbena is an observant person, but it’s what she does with these observations that becomes a problem. I sure hope she doesn’t try putting a wedge into things and that Holly sees that if this is the case. They are still in a testing phase from what I can tell. No need to rush.
Honestly… I’m not sure she’s shit disturbing. Holly *does* look a little lost and Verbena looks genuinely sad for Holly in the last panel. I’m wondering if Verbena doesn’t have a soft spot for Holly: it would make sense why she’s quick to call him friend and was more than willing to pounce when he was available, which makes pissing off Ivy a *bonus*, not a goal.
+1 Yeah. I would be shocked to find a one dimensional character in one of Gina’s stories. Their mom demonstrates being a mixture of insensitive and loving. So, it’s not surprising to me if Verbena is being honest here, while also toying with Holly and enjoying teasing Ivy. It’s funny that for me personally this is “bad girl” behavior that is very attractive…
The thing is that Ivy’s and Holly’s relationship has basically always been driven by Ivy getting Holly out of his comfort zone and it working out better for him than he had imagined. So Verbena may be right now but the jury would sensibly choose to be out on it for now if she did not call for an answer.
Gotta agree with Kheldarson here. It sounds an awful lot like Verbena has struggled with jealousy over her sister’s treatment for most of her life. She probably sees some of that jealousy Holly’s trying to stifle and, at least here, it looks like she is genuinely worried for him. I seriously doubt, given what we’ve seen of her, that Verbena isn’t well aware of just how awful she behaves while jealous and it would be understandable for her to worry about that happening to Holly. I spent virtually my entire adult life in polyamorous relationships (as well as a couple years before adulthood) and have seen a lot of mono-poly arrangements, where one party was definitely not happy with it but tried really hard to convince themselves they were. I’ve also seen far too many otherwise kind and decent people turn ugly when jealousy took them by surprise. I think we all want to see what Holly, Ivy, and Aster are building here work out with all three of them happy, but in a lot of the real world examples of a couple opening up to polyamory because one of them needed something the other didn’t want getting started is rough.
I think that it doesn’t help in this case that Ivy and Aster are okay with touching and Holly very much isn’t. The stark reality is that touching makes a relationship more intimate by nature. I think that Ivy and Aster would welcome Holly with literal open arms if he wanted it. But as it stands, if you’re the only one not into touching in the relationship, you will definitely feel more left out and more like the “fifth wheel”. And it’s not like you can fix it by trying to allow touching with them since even the thought of it squicks you out. So, I don’t blame Holly for feeling a little lost as he tries to find his place in that relationship.
It would be so sad if Holly separates from Ivy and Aster. I’m not sure what separating would mean, though. I can’t imagine it would be easy to be Holly in this situation. It seemed hard figuring out what was going on between Ivy and Holly, before Aster was there.
I would like to think they don’t need to decide something so broad as whether or not they are in a relationship. It’s ok for Holly to be unsure. I hope they do what they are comfortable with.
I’ve related very strongly to Holly getting dragged into a poly situation he’s not comfortable with. This dynamic is a thing Ivy and Aster want, and he’s just trying to find some happiness. Him leaving the relationship would be a step towards freedom and growth, where he can pursue what he wants and needs
I only got a favorable view of poly relationships from this comic and several on Filthy Figments. When I was a kid we mostly slept with everyone on top of having pair relationships and there were lots of hurt feelings and some lifelong scars, I think. Other than that I haven’t had a poly relationship, so I don’t really know about them.
I can at least relate to the idea that on the spectrum of relationship styles, are friend + romance type relationships that may or may not involve sex and aren’t partner relationships (I wish I could find again the poster-like thing someone tweeted during pride month, saying much of this). Asexual people can have partners involving sex or not. Etc. I’ve experienced some of that spectrum.
I would hope that people who are in those relationships are allowed to find out they can’t handle it and they are not pressured to stay or made to feel bad for having trouble.
I think it would be a valuable plot point if Holly is having trouble being in the relationship even if Ivy and Aster could convince him that he’s welcomed.
In the way that I perceive their relationship, he could separate in some specific ways and still be in a relationship with Ivy, whatever that means.
For me, partners were always friends first. From less to more: friend, best friend, partner… “Breaking up” meant specific things, like not sleeping in the same bed. I lived with my ex for over a year after we broke up.
I’ve still tried to keep friendships with partners I’ve had in my life time. And I, at least, consider them part of my family. Whatever they do, I hope Ivy and Holly grow closer as a result.
…All I can think is that the “shit disturbing” has begun.
It’s obvious Verbena is an observant person, but it’s what she does with these observations that becomes a problem. I sure hope she doesn’t try putting a wedge into things and that Holly sees that if this is the case. They are still in a testing phase from what I can tell. No need to rush.
Honestly… I’m not sure she’s shit disturbing. Holly *does* look a little lost and Verbena looks genuinely sad for Holly in the last panel. I’m wondering if Verbena doesn’t have a soft spot for Holly: it would make sense why she’s quick to call him friend and was more than willing to pounce when he was available, which makes pissing off Ivy a *bonus*, not a goal.
+1 Yeah. I would be shocked to find a one dimensional character in one of Gina’s stories. Their mom demonstrates being a mixture of insensitive and loving. So, it’s not surprising to me if Verbena is being honest here, while also toying with Holly and enjoying teasing Ivy. It’s funny that for me personally this is “bad girl” behavior that is very attractive…
The thing is that Ivy’s and Holly’s relationship has basically always been driven by Ivy getting Holly out of his comfort zone and it working out better for him than he had imagined. So Verbena may be right now but the jury would sensibly choose to be out on it for now if she did not call for an answer.
Gotta agree with Kheldarson here. It sounds an awful lot like Verbena has struggled with jealousy over her sister’s treatment for most of her life. She probably sees some of that jealousy Holly’s trying to stifle and, at least here, it looks like she is genuinely worried for him. I seriously doubt, given what we’ve seen of her, that Verbena isn’t well aware of just how awful she behaves while jealous and it would be understandable for her to worry about that happening to Holly. I spent virtually my entire adult life in polyamorous relationships (as well as a couple years before adulthood) and have seen a lot of mono-poly arrangements, where one party was definitely not happy with it but tried really hard to convince themselves they were. I’ve also seen far too many otherwise kind and decent people turn ugly when jealousy took them by surprise. I think we all want to see what Holly, Ivy, and Aster are building here work out with all three of them happy, but in a lot of the real world examples of a couple opening up to polyamory because one of them needed something the other didn’t want getting started is rough.
I think that it doesn’t help in this case that Ivy and Aster are okay with touching and Holly very much isn’t. The stark reality is that touching makes a relationship more intimate by nature. I think that Ivy and Aster would welcome Holly with literal open arms if he wanted it. But as it stands, if you’re the only one not into touching in the relationship, you will definitely feel more left out and more like the “fifth wheel”. And it’s not like you can fix it by trying to allow touching with them since even the thought of it squicks you out. So, I don’t blame Holly for feeling a little lost as he tries to find his place in that relationship.