Oh man Vee I really feel for you right now… I know how that situation isand feels and I love that maaaaaybe the sister bond is starting to outweigh the desire for motherly appreciation! đ
I really must say, I am liking Verbena and Ivy’s mother less and less. She’s not asking how Verbena’s been doing, only what her sister and partners are up to.
Plus, she’s maintaining Verbena as The Failure Afterthought. She’s already going on this vacation to tell her mother what Ivy and co are doing, and the mom has the gall to tell her ‘I expected better’ when V LITERALLY tells her what her sister is doing.
the biggest question to me is whyyyy? why does the mother …. everything. why use her own kid to spy another kid. why she wants to spy her own kid.
whyyyyy??
Speaking as someone who’s own mother literally bribed her 5-years younger little sister to spy on me and snitch to my mom if/when I ignored certain punishments (no TV or computer, etc), this doesn’t surprise me. When a mom thinks only of their own interests, it’s not unheard of to use one kid against the other. It sucks and I don’t condone it, just pointing out such parents will do that.
Narcissism. I can’t say it any other way. Both main characters’ parents are full blown narcissists in their own way, which is why they both make good villains.
She is a gossip, obsessed with sex, and obsessed with Ivy which she considers her creation. She is not interested in the personal boundaries or feelings of her daughters who she considers her property. When you say “her own kid”, that means something entirely different than it does to Vera.
There are a variety of reasons to have kids in our society as well. With the kind of emotional and physical detachment enforced by Monotropia conventions, it is to be expected that there is less reinforcement for “altruistic emotional” bonds to your children, so Vera is likely less of a statistic outlier than she’d be in our world, and even in our world she might not be as much of an outlier as you’d wish for.
You know what hit me like a brick to the face? The reaction of Vera and Verbena if/when they find out that Ivy is engaging in touch. I can already see the clouds forming.
I forgot about Vera’s reaction to Aster talking about his research on vital touch: https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch14-p31/ I suppose she could be shocked if she found out about their touching.
Looks like Vee is protecting her sister in some way too, which I hope is the case. Lord knows how many times I’ve done my best to protect my brothers in some form or fashion.
Iâm pretty sure that last panel is a âyes but I didnât want you to say it aloudâ.
Ivyâs clearly managed to grow as a person outside of her awful mother and it looks like Verbenaâs finally starting to push for that too, and Iâm glad to see it. I hope this is a step towards her becoming more and more of her own person and to need that motherly approval less- because I know all to well that sometimes you gotta give up on it. Itâll never ever happen, sheâll never be âgood enoughâ for her mother, and the sooner she stops trying the better off sheâll be.
I am not sure if I’m projecting, either. Verbena seems to me to always be expressing multiple things. She’s hurt by the family situation, she wants reassurance, she wants her sister. I get a similar feeling about Vera. I would expect her to think she is looking out for Ivy (and Verbena), not unlike Amaryllis with Abeille.
I donât get the feeling that Amaryllis is looking out for Abeille at all, personally. She seems to me to be manipulating her daughter, as soon as her behaviour pushes Abeille too far she twists it and makes Abeille feel bad about being angry or upset. Again, I could be projecting there too but she seems pretty awful too- just better at hiding it than Vera.
I agree about Verbena though. I feel like she has so many feelings, and has become so used to hiding any of them that leave her vulnerable. This quiet moment before the call was so bittersweet to see.
An interesting underlying theme of this comic seems to be parental/child relationships, namely mother/daughter(s). As someone with an interesting relationship with her mom, I’m here for it.
“Oops, mom, looks like there’s an unexpected electrical storm coming in. I think we’re going to lose connec-” *hangs up* Aaaand, chill with your cocktail and whatever the equivalent of Netflix is, Vee.
What exactly is she looking for? Everything. She wants to know what they’re all saying to each other, the minute details of their day to day during vacation, what they ate, how they dressed, whether they were doing anything she didn’t approve of, etc. And if she hears of anything Ivy’s doing that she doesn’t approve of, you can bet your butt that Ivy will get several phone calls about it. It’s all about control. My mom was like this when I was in my 20’s and moved across the country for Uni. She prided herself on being able to “keep track of me by remote control” (her exact words). Except I don’t have any siblings, so she enlisted my cousins and my aunts to keep tabs on me and report back to her. Fortunately, my cousins were less enthralled by my mom than Vee is with her mom, though she was their favourite aunt.
Oh man Vee I really feel for you right now… I know how that situation isand feels and I love that maaaaaybe the sister bond is starting to outweigh the desire for motherly appreciation! đ
I really must say, I am liking Verbena and Ivy’s mother less and less. She’s not asking how Verbena’s been doing, only what her sister and partners are up to.
Plus, she’s maintaining Verbena as The Failure Afterthought. She’s already going on this vacation to tell her mother what Ivy and co are doing, and the mom has the gall to tell her ‘I expected better’ when V LITERALLY tells her what her sister is doing.
the biggest question to me is whyyyy? why does the mother …. everything. why use her own kid to spy another kid. why she wants to spy her own kid.
whyyyyy??
Speaking as someone who’s own mother literally bribed her 5-years younger little sister to spy on me and snitch to my mom if/when I ignored certain punishments (no TV or computer, etc), this doesn’t surprise me. When a mom thinks only of their own interests, it’s not unheard of to use one kid against the other. It sucks and I don’t condone it, just pointing out such parents will do that.
Narcissism. I can’t say it any other way. Both main characters’ parents are full blown narcissists in their own way, which is why they both make good villains.
She is a gossip, obsessed with sex, and obsessed with Ivy which she considers her creation. She is not interested in the personal boundaries or feelings of her daughters who she considers her property. When you say “her own kid”, that means something entirely different than it does to Vera.
There are a variety of reasons to have kids in our society as well. With the kind of emotional and physical detachment enforced by Monotropia conventions, it is to be expected that there is less reinforcement for “altruistic emotional” bonds to your children, so Vera is likely less of a statistic outlier than she’d be in our world, and even in our world she might not be as much of an outlier as you’d wish for.
You know what hit me like a brick to the face? The reaction of Vera and Verbena if/when they find out that Ivy is engaging in touch. I can already see the clouds forming.
I forgot about Vera’s reaction to Aster talking about his research on vital touch: https://lovenotfound.com/comic/ch14-p31/ I suppose she could be shocked if she found out about their touching.
Aster uses ze/zir pronouns
D’Oh! Thanks. I keep doing that… “zie/zir”
Why does their mum want Verbena to spy on Ivy? Ivy is an adult and what she does is none of her business.
Tbh, she reminds me of AmaryllisâŚ
Because she needs to solve some emotional needs at the expense of her children.
She seems to use them as a source of entertainment.
Looks like Vee is protecting her sister in some way too, which I hope is the case. Lord knows how many times I’ve done my best to protect my brothers in some form or fashion.
Iâm pretty sure that last panel is a âyes but I didnât want you to say it aloudâ.
Ivyâs clearly managed to grow as a person outside of her awful mother and it looks like Verbenaâs finally starting to push for that too, and Iâm glad to see it. I hope this is a step towards her becoming more and more of her own person and to need that motherly approval less- because I know all to well that sometimes you gotta give up on it. Itâll never ever happen, sheâll never be âgood enoughâ for her mother, and the sooner she stops trying the better off sheâll be.
Or maybe Iâm projecting.
I am not sure if I’m projecting, either. Verbena seems to me to always be expressing multiple things. She’s hurt by the family situation, she wants reassurance, she wants her sister. I get a similar feeling about Vera. I would expect her to think she is looking out for Ivy (and Verbena), not unlike Amaryllis with Abeille.
There is a new “milestones” section on the Verbena and Ivy (unofficial) wiki page: https://lovenotfound-fans.fandom.com/wiki/Verbena_and_Ivy The twists and turns are sad and endearing, I think.
With that brillant silver screen, who could resist projecting?
I donât get the feeling that Amaryllis is looking out for Abeille at all, personally. She seems to me to be manipulating her daughter, as soon as her behaviour pushes Abeille too far she twists it and makes Abeille feel bad about being angry or upset. Again, I could be projecting there too but she seems pretty awful too- just better at hiding it than Vera.
I agree about Verbena though. I feel like she has so many feelings, and has become so used to hiding any of them that leave her vulnerable. This quiet moment before the call was so bittersweet to see.
I meant that Amaryllis and Vera think that. Not that they are.
Ah, I see! Yes, itâs very possible that they do. They certainly believe their behaviour is justified, I believe.
An interesting underlying theme of this comic seems to be parental/child relationships, namely mother/daughter(s). As someone with an interesting relationship with her mom, I’m here for it.
What is she expecting Verbena to even find?
Yay Vee! Thank you for deciding to be opaque to your nosey mom. That’s hard, but maybe your relationship with Ivy will be the better for it. <3
Simple solution for this situation, Vee.
Hang up.
“Oops, mom, looks like there’s an unexpected electrical storm coming in. I think we’re going to lose connec-” *hangs up* Aaaand, chill with your cocktail and whatever the equivalent of Netflix is, Vee.
What exactly is she looking for?!
And I thought Abeille’s mom was a piece of work…
Well, this seems less malicious, and more thoughtlessly cruel and vapid.
still harmful of course.
What exactly is she looking for? Everything. She wants to know what they’re all saying to each other, the minute details of their day to day during vacation, what they ate, how they dressed, whether they were doing anything she didn’t approve of, etc. And if she hears of anything Ivy’s doing that she doesn’t approve of, you can bet your butt that Ivy will get several phone calls about it. It’s all about control. My mom was like this when I was in my 20’s and moved across the country for Uni. She prided herself on being able to “keep track of me by remote control” (her exact words). Except I don’t have any siblings, so she enlisted my cousins and my aunts to keep tabs on me and report back to her. Fortunately, my cousins were less enthralled by my mom than Vee is with her mom, though she was their favourite aunt.
I just noticed… she’s concealing the fact that they spent some time TOGETHER.