This whole page is heart breaking. But for both of them to feel so used and unloved by their own mother. Shout out to all the good moms in this story and in the world.
Good introspection, both of you. I hope it leads to more honest communication in future. And also to telling your mom no. Your relationship with her is always going to be fraught, but you can build a better relationship with each other than you have right now.
A+ for the candid conversation on this page. It feels like the sisters are taking some real steps. I wonder if their mother will ever understand why she lost them both.
It’s very painful to be seen as nothing but an object, an item, a plaything to impose their wishes upon. And it’s also painful to see your sibling treated differently- perhaps not realising for a long time that they are also viewed as an object, albeit a different one.
I never got the chance to unite with my brother and come to understand our different pains from growing up like that. I truly hope these two are truly able to openly discuss it, bare their pains, understand the other’s experience, and move forward with a new relationship built not upon the differences of their past but from the similarities.
I know this doesn’t mean all hurts are forgiven, but Vee and Ivy seem to finally be having a truthful conversation about their complex relationship and how that ties to their complicated relationship with their mother.
This is such a great, honest conversation. I am so glad the confrontation was toned down here so they could really TALK to each other. I really hope they can move forward together.
Yes, yes, yes, this is exactly what I was hoping for. Now hopefully they can move on and present a more united front to their mother if and when another confrontation arises.
That last panel really lays everything bare. Vee’s trying so hard to win the affections of someone who doesn’t see her as a daughter, but as an accomplishment, a trophy, a way of saying “Look what I can do.”
That woman (I refuse to give her the dignity of calling her “their mother”) makes me sick.
Well, there is a certain mind set to react to your daughter losing her eyes in an accident by complaining that those eyes were designed to match your favorite nail polish. Even given the state of medical care here.
It’s letting her off easy to think Vera acts intentionally, I think. People generally don’t do things for the sake of evil. They have a justification. Vera probably thinks she’s protecting her daughters, heroically. The hard part is admitting how you justified your actions.
I really wonder what Vee gets out of the spying. I get that she thinks/thought that it would get her her mother’s attention, but it should have become blatantly obvious by now that that’s not the case and yet she keeps trying and hurting herself in the process. I’m honestly really surprised that neither woman has cut their mother off completely at this point. I wonder if there’s something on top of the emotional (trauma-)bond – we know Ivy has a job, but did we ever learn about Vee’s financial situation?
I hope they will tell Vera how they feel, and what they want, calmly and persisently and that they don’t back down. It would be unfortunate, if Vera reacted badly and then they storm off thinking they gave her a chance and she didn’t take it.
All of the harm I see coming from volatility makes me hope for communication first. I would expect them to love their mother. It could be healing to share what they’ve experienced with their mother. Maybe Vera would open a little and they could work on resolving their problems. It doesn’t hurt to try. It does hurt, not to try.
When I’ve cut off ties with people, it aggravated the problem and hurt us both. For a long time that is all I could do, because I reacted automatically. For now anyway, I welcomed them back and insisted on boundaries. So, the same separation is there, but I am not living each day with that trauma in the back of my mind.
There are people who won’t be reached in the life time, if you try to talk to them. But, leaping to that conclusion about people first is self-destructive.
Ivy: “Hi Mom. Vee told me you really wanted an update so we decided to tell you together; we’re not going to play your game anymore. If you want to know about me and my life, then you can ask me yourself – AFTER you ask Vee how she’s doing. She deserves your attention as much as I do. We’re both your daughters, and we’re done hurting each other just because you can’t see that. And if you don’t like it, you can always make another daughter and forget all about the BOTH of us. Your choice. ? Have a nice day!”
It seems like Ivy has very likely had internal struggles over the years about being less of a normal child and more of just a product/commodity that her mother made to show off.
This whole page is heart breaking. But for both of them to feel so used and unloved by their own mother. Shout out to all the good moms in this story and in the world.
Good introspection, both of you. I hope it leads to more honest communication in future. And also to telling your mom no. Your relationship with her is always going to be fraught, but you can build a better relationship with each other than you have right now.
A+ for the candid conversation on this page. It feels like the sisters are taking some real steps. I wonder if their mother will ever understand why she lost them both.
It’s very painful to be seen as nothing but an object, an item, a plaything to impose their wishes upon. And it’s also painful to see your sibling treated differently- perhaps not realising for a long time that they are also viewed as an object, albeit a different one.
I never got the chance to unite with my brother and come to understand our different pains from growing up like that. I truly hope these two are truly able to openly discuss it, bare their pains, understand the other’s experience, and move forward with a new relationship built not upon the differences of their past but from the similarities.
I know this doesn’t mean all hurts are forgiven, but Vee and Ivy seem to finally be having a truthful conversation about their complex relationship and how that ties to their complicated relationship with their mother.
This is such a great, honest conversation. I am so glad the confrontation was toned down here so they could really TALK to each other. I really hope they can move forward together.
Yes, yes, yes, this is exactly what I was hoping for. Now hopefully they can move on and present a more united front to their mother if and when another confrontation arises.
That last panel really lays everything bare. Vee’s trying so hard to win the affections of someone who doesn’t see her as a daughter, but as an accomplishment, a trophy, a way of saying “Look what I can do.”
That woman (I refuse to give her the dignity of calling her “their mother”) makes me sick.
Well, there is a certain mind set to react to your daughter losing her eyes in an accident by complaining that those eyes were designed to match your favorite nail polish. Even given the state of medical care here.
It’s letting her off easy to think Vera acts intentionally, I think. People generally don’t do things for the sake of evil. They have a justification. Vera probably thinks she’s protecting her daughters, heroically. The hard part is admitting how you justified your actions.
I really wonder what Vee gets out of the spying. I get that she thinks/thought that it would get her her mother’s attention, but it should have become blatantly obvious by now that that’s not the case and yet she keeps trying and hurting herself in the process. I’m honestly really surprised that neither woman has cut their mother off completely at this point. I wonder if there’s something on top of the emotional (trauma-)bond – we know Ivy has a job, but did we ever learn about Vee’s financial situation?
> I really wonder what Vee gets out of the spying.
So does she. Well, a tropical vacation. But that looked better on paper than in execution.
Being abused her whole life, she doesn’t know any differently.
When someone has emotionally wrecked you to keep trying anyway. Cuz maybe, just MAYBE this time will be better. Maybe you don’t deserve better…
Btdt.
YES! I’m so glad they’re having this conversation!!! T_T
Where do we go from here?
I hope they will tell Vera how they feel, and what they want, calmly and persisently and that they don’t back down. It would be unfortunate, if Vera reacted badly and then they storm off thinking they gave her a chance and she didn’t take it.
I hope they don’t feel the need to explain themselves to her.
All of the harm I see coming from volatility makes me hope for communication first. I would expect them to love their mother. It could be healing to share what they’ve experienced with their mother. Maybe Vera would open a little and they could work on resolving their problems. It doesn’t hurt to try. It does hurt, not to try.
When I’ve cut off ties with people, it aggravated the problem and hurt us both. For a long time that is all I could do, because I reacted automatically. For now anyway, I welcomed them back and insisted on boundaries. So, the same separation is there, but I am not living each day with that trauma in the back of my mind.
There are people who won’t be reached in the life time, if you try to talk to them. But, leaping to that conclusion about people first is self-destructive.
Vera: So…what juicy details do you have for me about Ivy?
Verbena: We decided we’re done hurting each over you and had a marvelous time. Thanks for asking!
If only.
Ivy: “Hi Mom. Vee told me you really wanted an update so we decided to tell you together; we’re not going to play your game anymore. If you want to know about me and my life, then you can ask me yourself – AFTER you ask Vee how she’s doing. She deserves your attention as much as I do. We’re both your daughters, and we’re done hurting each other just because you can’t see that. And if you don’t like it, you can always make another daughter and forget all about the BOTH of us. Your choice. ? Have a nice day!”
I’m glad they’re having this heart to heart.
It seems like Ivy has very likely had internal struggles over the years about being less of a normal child and more of just a product/commodity that her mother made to show off.
Ah, I understand the metaphor behind the eye injury plot much more now.
This series has so many impactful illustrations of family relationships. I relate so hard to this one, but also to Abeille’s issues with her mom too.
This is so sad. But I’m glad they’re finally having a (healthy) heart to heart talk. 😣
Their mom: Narcissism 101.