OMG I wish I had this kind of parental support! I love my dad, I really do, but I never got this kind of support from him, emotionally at least. I think it’s due to the fact that he himself is a military man and they were trained to not be emotional people due to the things needed to get the job done. I really don’t blame him for that. He has tried sticking up for me when it comes to my mother, but those moments are rare since she’ll lash at him too. Now I will say this again my mom isn’t as bad as Abeille’s mother (she’s never fully tried to sabotage things), but like Abeille, I never felt like my mother truly loved me (or anyone for that matter since she doesn’t love herself).
My father was also emotionless, but supportive in other ways. I don’t remember ever seeing his parents when they were not angry. I was sent to visit my grandmother and she never spoke to me during the visits, aside from a fake greeting. What a rough childhood he must have had.
Part of gender dysphoria for me, is seeing traits that remind me of my father and make me feel disgusting. At the same time I identified with my sisters and mother, how they were emotionally supportive and that there was a community around them, whereas my father was isolated. On his death bed he was fighting with his wife and his brother.
From both sides of my family I picked up positive and negative traits, I think. No one was entirely bad. My Mom might have been a bit like Mallow in being warm and supportive with some emotionally dependent traits that lead to problems. I still can’t guess how things are going to be resolved between Abeille and her parents but it seems like Abeille has expressed love for her mother and that she’s going to insist on independence.
Your story sounds familiar. My father is a Vietnam vet, his father was a WWII vet. My dad saw my grandfather suffer with PTSD, he even tried to stab my brother thinking he was Hitler. I can’t imagine what growing up with a war-scarred father and alcoholic mother was like for my dad.
He didn’t want that sort of trauma for us kids, so he decided the best course of action was to not interact with us at all. He let my mother (who is in a religious cult, he is not) do all the raising, and he stayed quiet even when he strongly disagreed with the sort of stuff we were learning. Homophobia was a big one. My mother even wanted me to quit high school marching band when she learned that the drum major was gay. My dad put his foot down THAT time and allowed me to stay.
He told me years later, he feared having a bad flashback so much, he tried to keep his distance, physically and emotionally, until we were old enough to, as he put it, “put me down if I lose control.” I can’t imagine, being a proud father of five, but terrified you might harm them if a flashback hit. He even worked graveyard shifts specifically so he would not be around us in the evenings.
When I turned 15, he tried to make up for it, in his own way. We weren’t really an “emotional” family, I could count on my hands how many times my mother hugged me growing up (physical greetings creep me out) but my dad did his best to form some sort of connection before I went off to college. For one, he urged me not to listen to all the homophobic crap at church, and to pursue my dreams, although my mother strongly opposed even going to college. (I would learn “worldly ways” and “leave the flock” and “why do you need a college degree if you’re just going to get married and stay home with the kids?”)
My dad still doesn’t agree with my mother’s religious beliefs, but he’s proud that I stuck to my own individuality. When I got married to a Jewish man, it was a scandal to my mother and siblings who are in that religion, one sister even disowned me, but my dad took both of us out on a camping trip to the desert and just quietly told us, so long as we were happy, that’s all that mattered. Even if he couldn’t always express it, he cared, and he at least tried to be supportive despite my mother’s over-zealousness.
They said it was a “kid” thing to do, so maybe it is more common between parents and their kids? It is relatively common to keep up certain affections with grown children despite it not being an “adult” thing to do.
That sounds possible to me. I’m not sure the touch taboo is about casual touch. In present day bumping into someone is a breach of personal space in some situations. Touching someone on the shoulder as a supportive gesture is different than bumping into them. The “vital touch” that Aster refers to is an emotional expression.
That’s kind of how I’m seeing it? That this talk between Mallow and Abeille is drawing her back to childhood memories. He is surprised when she first lays her head on his shoulder but he doesn’t pull away and treats her as he would have as a kid. Also I do wonder if maybe on Pasque, the touch taboo is a little more relaxed since it’s so cold all the time.
I do see Mallow never refuted Abeille saying that Amaryllis would like Abeille more if Abeille was more like Evette. Mallow does seem to appreciate that his daughters are/were very different people with their own strengths, where as Amaryllis doesn’t. I guess Amaryllis thought she was supposed to be a xerox machine or something? It’s kind of a shame that Amaryllis is so blinded by what she thinks Abeille “should” be, that she doesn’t see how fantastic a person Abeille already *is*.
I don’t think it matters to Amaryllis what kind of person Abeille is; she just wants to be in control. If Abeille were to be even more accomplished than Evette, then it’d be a guilt trip about having vital skills that she’s “withholding” from the Pasque community.
Her mother wants a child who concedes to her, not someone who succeeds on their own.
Amaryllis definitely wouldn’t want a daughter just like herself – too hard to manipulate.
Whoops! I totally forgot about it again… It was so needed though! How does this society function? Touch is so important!! I figured Mallow was just remembering cheering up Abbielle when she was younger, but it’s more than that. That was a time he was able to openly hug his daughter to comfort her. :'(
I can’t even express how much I LOVE the fact that Mallow didn’t say “Aw, your mom doesn’t hate you.” Instead, he turns Abeille’s focus to where it should be to build her confidence.
I assume it’s because she initiated it in an open space. More like a, “Have you seriously not learned anything after the last fiasco?” kind of deal, I think. Honestly, I just want to know if touch is seen gross or not? It seems kinda inconsistent?
I love the fact that her dad didn’t freak out or push her away or even make a disgusted face of any kind when she leaned against him. He just smiled and wrapped his arm around her.
I really like how this comic has kind of highlighted toxic parenting and that mom’s are not all amazing and perfect. Some mom’s are kind of assholes to their kids and spouses and I like seeing that get exposure in lieu of Mother’s Day for those who don’t always feeling like celebrating their mothers.
This reminds me of that scene from “Iron & Silk” where the teacher mentions kissing as a casual form of affection, and the class is unanimous on the claim, “we don’t do that here.” But the moment it’s just him and one other student, the other guy confides that he kisses his child on the head every night.
Sometimes the culture of “that’s not a thing people do!” is really just everyone agreeing not to be open about it, and acting scandalized by something they already know.
This is so beautiful. I just became a mom five days ago. This made me cry more than I care to admit. You can feel the love he feels for his little girl.
They say kids need just one at least ‘ok’ parent and they can turn out ok even if the other is a train wreck. I am glad she has that in her dad. I just wish/hope he’ll tell his wife where to stick it.
I am so happy that her dad is reasonable and supportive. I think deep down, her mom wants what is best for her too, but she has yet to find a proper way to deal with the death Evette too.
I’ve just caught up after not reading for the last few months. I’ve been thinking about the theory I’ve seen in the comments about Mallow being sick, and I’m of two minds about it.
On the one hand, I think he could have a terminal illness, and he asked Amaryllis not to tell anyone. It would explain why they left her alone for a few years but then suddenly decided to take this trip to see her. Amaryllis might be fighting so hard to have her daughter go home with them because Mallow wants to spend as much of his remaining time with his daughter as possible (and she may also be unable to deal with caring for someone who is sick). But then Mallow’s seen how happy his daughter is and changed his mind about the plan.
On the other hand, is that the kind of thing Amaryllis would actually keep quiet about? It seems like the kind of thing she’d break silence on immediately, so that she could use it to elicit sympathy or as a weapon of guilt.
Whether he’s sick or not, I definitely think Amaryllis has some hidden motive. Not that she needs an excuse to be awful, but the dramatic escalation seems to be more than just an extinction burst as she loses control of her daughter.
I agree that it’s a mystery what motivates Amaryllis, possibly to her as well. Motivations with the deepest roots are rooted in the subconscious, I think.
MY HEART! T_T
OMG I wish I had this kind of parental support! I love my dad, I really do, but I never got this kind of support from him, emotionally at least. I think it’s due to the fact that he himself is a military man and they were trained to not be emotional people due to the things needed to get the job done. I really don’t blame him for that. He has tried sticking up for me when it comes to my mother, but those moments are rare since she’ll lash at him too. Now I will say this again my mom isn’t as bad as Abeille’s mother (she’s never fully tried to sabotage things), but like Abeille, I never felt like my mother truly loved me (or anyone for that matter since she doesn’t love herself).
My father was also emotionless, but supportive in other ways. I don’t remember ever seeing his parents when they were not angry. I was sent to visit my grandmother and she never spoke to me during the visits, aside from a fake greeting. What a rough childhood he must have had.
Part of gender dysphoria for me, is seeing traits that remind me of my father and make me feel disgusting. At the same time I identified with my sisters and mother, how they were emotionally supportive and that there was a community around them, whereas my father was isolated. On his death bed he was fighting with his wife and his brother.
From both sides of my family I picked up positive and negative traits, I think. No one was entirely bad. My Mom might have been a bit like Mallow in being warm and supportive with some emotionally dependent traits that lead to problems. I still can’t guess how things are going to be resolved between Abeille and her parents but it seems like Abeille has expressed love for her mother and that she’s going to insist on independence.
Your story sounds familiar. My father is a Vietnam vet, his father was a WWII vet. My dad saw my grandfather suffer with PTSD, he even tried to stab my brother thinking he was Hitler. I can’t imagine what growing up with a war-scarred father and alcoholic mother was like for my dad.
He didn’t want that sort of trauma for us kids, so he decided the best course of action was to not interact with us at all. He let my mother (who is in a religious cult, he is not) do all the raising, and he stayed quiet even when he strongly disagreed with the sort of stuff we were learning. Homophobia was a big one. My mother even wanted me to quit high school marching band when she learned that the drum major was gay. My dad put his foot down THAT time and allowed me to stay.
He told me years later, he feared having a bad flashback so much, he tried to keep his distance, physically and emotionally, until we were old enough to, as he put it, “put me down if I lose control.” I can’t imagine, being a proud father of five, but terrified you might harm them if a flashback hit. He even worked graveyard shifts specifically so he would not be around us in the evenings.
When I turned 15, he tried to make up for it, in his own way. We weren’t really an “emotional” family, I could count on my hands how many times my mother hugged me growing up (physical greetings creep me out) but my dad did his best to form some sort of connection before I went off to college. For one, he urged me not to listen to all the homophobic crap at church, and to pursue my dreams, although my mother strongly opposed even going to college. (I would learn “worldly ways” and “leave the flock” and “why do you need a college degree if you’re just going to get married and stay home with the kids?”)
My dad still doesn’t agree with my mother’s religious beliefs, but he’s proud that I stuck to my own individuality. When I got married to a Jewish man, it was a scandal to my mother and siblings who are in that religion, one sister even disowned me, but my dad took both of us out on a camping trip to the desert and just quietly told us, so long as we were happy, that’s all that mattered. Even if he couldn’t always express it, he cared, and he at least tried to be supportive despite my mother’s over-zealousness.
They’re in a public space and openly touching. Abeille, come on -__-
They said it was a “kid” thing to do, so maybe it is more common between parents and their kids? It is relatively common to keep up certain affections with grown children despite it not being an “adult” thing to do.
That sounds possible to me. I’m not sure the touch taboo is about casual touch. In present day bumping into someone is a breach of personal space in some situations. Touching someone on the shoulder as a supportive gesture is different than bumping into them. The “vital touch” that Aster refers to is an emotional expression.
That’s kind of how I’m seeing it? That this talk between Mallow and Abeille is drawing her back to childhood memories. He is surprised when she first lays her head on his shoulder but he doesn’t pull away and treats her as he would have as a kid. Also I do wonder if maybe on Pasque, the touch taboo is a little more relaxed since it’s so cold all the time.
I do see Mallow never refuted Abeille saying that Amaryllis would like Abeille more if Abeille was more like Evette. Mallow does seem to appreciate that his daughters are/were very different people with their own strengths, where as Amaryllis doesn’t. I guess Amaryllis thought she was supposed to be a xerox machine or something? It’s kind of a shame that Amaryllis is so blinded by what she thinks Abeille “should” be, that she doesn’t see how fantastic a person Abeille already *is*.
I don’t think it matters to Amaryllis what kind of person Abeille is; she just wants to be in control. If Abeille were to be even more accomplished than Evette, then it’d be a guilt trip about having vital skills that she’s “withholding” from the Pasque community.
Her mother wants a child who concedes to her, not someone who succeeds on their own.
Amaryllis definitely wouldn’t want a daughter just like herself – too hard to manipulate.
Whoops! I totally forgot about it again… It was so needed though! How does this society function? Touch is so important!! I figured Mallow was just remembering cheering up Abbielle when she was younger, but it’s more than that. That was a time he was able to openly hug his daughter to comfort her. :'(
Can’t help but notice you excluded Mallow from your “come on” there as if he didn’t respond in kind by holding her closer.
I feel like people always focus the blame on Abeille for this stuff. It’s weird.
Alright but what about Mallow.
That’s a loving familial hug between adults, folks, and this is not a drill.
I can’t even express how much I LOVE the fact that Mallow didn’t say “Aw, your mom doesn’t hate you.” Instead, he turns Abeille’s focus to where it should be to build her confidence.
I assume it’s because she initiated it in an open space. More like a, “Have you seriously not learned anything after the last fiasco?” kind of deal, I think. Honestly, I just want to know if touch is seen gross or not? It seems kinda inconsistent?
I think it’s more that it’s seen as childish, and therefore gross when in a sexual or romantic context.
Mallow’s fathering really reminds me of my own dad. I wish everyone could have a dad (or any parental figure) like this.
I’m not crying YOU’RE crying
Must be a high pollen count, my eyes are watering a lot.
I love the fact that her dad didn’t freak out or push her away or even make a disgusted face of any kind when she leaned against him. He just smiled and wrapped his arm around her.
It seems he didn’t hand her over to a foster after probably getting her back from the NeoNatalNurses.
Mallow Dad rating: 15/10
Oh no, my eyes are leaking. (T_T) Aww this is such a wonderful page. <3
Yay! Now let’s hope he doesn’t cave in to Amarylis and will support his daughter publicly when it counts.
Now she’s touching with her father in a public place. Horrors upon horrors.
As the father of a 12-year-old daughter this gives me the feels.
That is so sweet…he’s the one that showed her that touching is okay.
I wonder what’s going to happen next…
It is very telling that he doesn’t refute the suggestion that Amaryllis hates Abeille and that is tragic.
This is so sweet ;-; 💕
I love Mallow. This conversation is everything.
I really like how this comic has kind of highlighted toxic parenting and that mom’s are not all amazing and perfect. Some mom’s are kind of assholes to their kids and spouses and I like seeing that get exposure in lieu of Mother’s Day for those who don’t always feeling like celebrating their mothers.
This reminds me of that scene from “Iron & Silk” where the teacher mentions kissing as a casual form of affection, and the class is unanimous on the claim, “we don’t do that here.” But the moment it’s just him and one other student, the other guy confides that he kisses his child on the head every night.
Sometimes the culture of “that’s not a thing people do!” is really just everyone agreeing not to be open about it, and acting scandalized by something they already know.
Aaaahhhh! This was beautiful!
This is so beautiful. I just became a mom five days ago. This made me cry more than I care to admit. You can feel the love he feels for his little girl.
Congratulations!
You are a beautiful mom!
They say kids need just one at least ‘ok’ parent and they can turn out ok even if the other is a train wreck. I am glad she has that in her dad. I just wish/hope he’ll tell his wife where to stick it.
I am so happy that her dad is reasonable and supportive. I think deep down, her mom wants what is best for her too, but she has yet to find a proper way to deal with the death Evette too.
I’ve just caught up after not reading for the last few months. I’ve been thinking about the theory I’ve seen in the comments about Mallow being sick, and I’m of two minds about it.
On the one hand, I think he could have a terminal illness, and he asked Amaryllis not to tell anyone. It would explain why they left her alone for a few years but then suddenly decided to take this trip to see her. Amaryllis might be fighting so hard to have her daughter go home with them because Mallow wants to spend as much of his remaining time with his daughter as possible (and she may also be unable to deal with caring for someone who is sick). But then Mallow’s seen how happy his daughter is and changed his mind about the plan.
On the other hand, is that the kind of thing Amaryllis would actually keep quiet about? It seems like the kind of thing she’d break silence on immediately, so that she could use it to elicit sympathy or as a weapon of guilt.
Whether he’s sick or not, I definitely think Amaryllis has some hidden motive. Not that she needs an excuse to be awful, but the dramatic escalation seems to be more than just an extinction burst as she loses control of her daughter.
I agree that it’s a mystery what motivates Amaryllis, possibly to her as well. Motivations with the deepest roots are rooted in the subconscious, I think.
I’ve added your theory to fan theories: https://lovenotfound-fans.fandom.com/wiki/Fan_theories and mentioned it in #fan-theories on discord https://discord.gg/AEMvrZHVEa
This is so sweet 🥺