The colors and shading are beautiful! It looks kind of misty outside.
Incidentally, MrsFizzes posted that she wished there were a discord to talk abut fan theories. So, there is an unofficial fan discord server: https://discord.gg/EXQBmnZrkE I rarely use discord. I briefly join to ask questions about classes and that sort of thing. So advice would be welcomed if anyone joins.
@ Crane: I get it. After I fell out and had to go LC with my NMom, I had a real issue with seeing others with their moms for a fair number of years, especially those with great relationships with their moms. Right to the point, where I had issues talking with my friends’ moms without feeling that pit drop in my stomach. I eventually had to avoid older moms for a while before I could really heal.
Moral support is something difficult to find, I think. Problems involving resentment seem like there isn’t a cure or an idea that solves the problem. People giving advice that doesn’t apply has been unpleasant. There has been one idea that makes sense to me to unlearn resentment, as an ongoing practice. That’s what I was describing in another comment.
One time, someone’s advice was very helpful to me. But, after that, having people give me the advice again doesn’t help. What I’ve needed is just someone to relate. Not to encourage my resentment but to just be there, like Jasmine is for Miel. Therapists are not supposed to relate to people that way, so they can’t help in that way.
It’s nice seeing people relating. This comic is like therapy for me. I’m sorry for giving advice when that might not be helpful.
It can be helpful to grow past resentment and own your life story. I just never appreciate vilifying people who aren’t as far on the track as others.
I rationally know those more fortunate people aren’t responsible for my suffering so I make effort to not let my baggage actually affect them, but feeling guilty for my spite would make me spiral so badly…
I didn’t intend to inspire guilt or to cast someone as bad for envy. But, it’s common for people to interpret words as being condemning, or for wording to convey that, when the wording is too direct. I’m trying to learn not to do that.
Why would Abeille be envious of Miel? Amaryllis is not just ready to go Eyebright to give them a piece of her mind but actually did so. And Mallow did not just stuff her with food but also brought her skates and took her to the rink.
It’s a strange place to put your attention. I’ve been envious before and I have trouble remembering what would distract me that way.
Abeille might be glowing with love right now and feeling confident from having been supported and she’s off to greet the waiting arms of her love and his family. It would be rather tone deaf to be envious then. But, there’s probably a reason why someone would be focused on envy then. I want to remember that the next time I feel envious.
I know I’m feeling that because I relate strongly to her situation, of feeling trapped by a parent. And I know that one can feel both what you’ve described *and* envy too – emotions are complex and can seem contradictory like that.
Also, I’m sure Abeille is grateful to have him and his family in her corner, that’s a good point! But she is *far* from out of the woods as far as her mother is concerned – she isn’t safe yet.
One should not feel guilty for envying those abundant when they themselves have been deprived.
People should have right to parental and familial support. To grow up in healthy and functional environments. To be raised without is a violation.
I agree with Crane that emotions are complex, or I think of something like a changing cloud of emotionality. I think of emotionality as never being bad. It’s how I react that can be bad. I get angry which is normal, but if I cling to it and justify it it can give rise to hatred, which is not good and not just emotional.
What I think of as myself being envious, is like that. I have feelings related to generalizations about memories and I start to justify the feelings tied to the generalizations and I obsess. That becomes unhealthy. It starts to hurt me.
If I think that I’m not receiving something that I would normally, that might be rational, but it doesn’t make it good to create an over-generalization about it, and hurt myself about it.
Maybe not envy, but I do something like that, much of the time. I think it’s “ok” that I do that, but it hurts and it would be better if I didn’t and I try to teach myself not to react that way. It even hurts other people and certainly pushes people away.
The life is unfair with the starter party you’re given. How many people are treated year after year by those, who are supposed to be close to them, majorly sucks. Meeting people who have no idea how hard you had it can spotlight it so harshly.
Having not resolved this injustice within your life it’s easy to externalise it into resenting people luckier than you
Why do I have a feeling that we’re near the end of this chapter? It be a nice way to end this chapter on a well ‘nice note’, before having the “Big confrontation” in the next chapter. I could be totally wrong, but we’ll see. The big question now is who is going to confront who first? Whatever happens, I am looking forward to it!
Just fyi, the website is occasionally not loading for me, even though other websites do load at those times (so I am pretty sure it’s not my internet). It tries to goes to the url but it just doesn’t finish loading? So I don’t get an error page either when it happens. Just figured I should mention it.
The colors and shading are beautiful! It looks kind of misty outside.
Incidentally, MrsFizzes posted that she wished there were a discord to talk abut fan theories. So, there is an unofficial fan discord server: https://discord.gg/EXQBmnZrkE I rarely use discord. I briefly join to ask questions about classes and that sort of thing. So advice would be welcomed if anyone joins.
That invite is invalid :/
I am in many servers and I think I could contribute if I see what we’re working with <3
oops… the invite is wrong: https://discord.gg/5cES6PJw sorry
Yep, that worked. added my lengthy introduction already.
Thank you!
Oops. There’s a widget that should always be right, here: https://lovenotfound-fans.fandom.com/wiki/Main_Page#Unofficial_Love_Not_Found_fans_chat For now, the new invite should be correct.
The server is empty, so this should be an awkward start I imagine. One person joined!
Maybe I’m a lesser person than Abeille, but I would be so damn envious of him right now.. hell, I *am* envious of him.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d be happy for him too – but it would be a complex set of feelings for sure.
@ Crane: I get it. After I fell out and had to go LC with my NMom, I had a real issue with seeing others with their moms for a fair number of years, especially those with great relationships with their moms. Right to the point, where I had issues talking with my friends’ moms without feeling that pit drop in my stomach. I eventually had to avoid older moms for a while before I could really heal.
Moral support is something difficult to find, I think. Problems involving resentment seem like there isn’t a cure or an idea that solves the problem. People giving advice that doesn’t apply has been unpleasant. There has been one idea that makes sense to me to unlearn resentment, as an ongoing practice. That’s what I was describing in another comment.
One time, someone’s advice was very helpful to me. But, after that, having people give me the advice again doesn’t help. What I’ve needed is just someone to relate. Not to encourage my resentment but to just be there, like Jasmine is for Miel. Therapists are not supposed to relate to people that way, so they can’t help in that way.
It’s nice seeing people relating. This comic is like therapy for me. I’m sorry for giving advice when that might not be helpful.
It can be helpful to grow past resentment and own your life story. I just never appreciate vilifying people who aren’t as far on the track as others.
I rationally know those more fortunate people aren’t responsible for my suffering so I make effort to not let my baggage actually affect them, but feeling guilty for my spite would make me spiral so badly…
I didn’t intend to inspire guilt or to cast someone as bad for envy. But, it’s common for people to interpret words as being condemning, or for wording to convey that, when the wording is too direct. I’m trying to learn not to do that.
In my mind I was saying watch out, that is toxic. It didn’t mean you are bad or you should feel bad.
It amazes me she isn’t spiteful and bitter towards everyone who had better families…
I sure am deep inside… I need to start therapy soon. 😀
Why would Abeille be envious of Miel? Amaryllis is not just ready to go Eyebright to give them a piece of her mind but actually did so. And Mallow did not just stuff her with food but also brought her skates and took her to the rink.
It’s a strange place to put your attention. I’ve been envious before and I have trouble remembering what would distract me that way.
Abeille might be glowing with love right now and feeling confident from having been supported and she’s off to greet the waiting arms of her love and his family. It would be rather tone deaf to be envious then. But, there’s probably a reason why someone would be focused on envy then. I want to remember that the next time I feel envious.
I know I’m feeling that because I relate strongly to her situation, of feeling trapped by a parent. And I know that one can feel both what you’ve described *and* envy too – emotions are complex and can seem contradictory like that.
Also, I’m sure Abeille is grateful to have him and his family in her corner, that’s a good point! But she is *far* from out of the woods as far as her mother is concerned – she isn’t safe yet.
One should not feel guilty for envying those abundant when they themselves have been deprived.
People should have right to parental and familial support. To grow up in healthy and functional environments. To be raised without is a violation.
I agree with Crane that emotions are complex, or I think of something like a changing cloud of emotionality. I think of emotionality as never being bad. It’s how I react that can be bad. I get angry which is normal, but if I cling to it and justify it it can give rise to hatred, which is not good and not just emotional.
What I think of as myself being envious, is like that. I have feelings related to generalizations about memories and I start to justify the feelings tied to the generalizations and I obsess. That becomes unhealthy. It starts to hurt me.
If I think that I’m not receiving something that I would normally, that might be rational, but it doesn’t make it good to create an over-generalization about it, and hurt myself about it.
Maybe not envy, but I do something like that, much of the time. I think it’s “ok” that I do that, but it hurts and it would be better if I didn’t and I try to teach myself not to react that way. It even hurts other people and certainly pushes people away.
The life is unfair with the starter party you’re given. How many people are treated year after year by those, who are supposed to be close to them, majorly sucks. Meeting people who have no idea how hard you had it can spotlight it so harshly.
Having not resolved this injustice within your life it’s easy to externalise it into resenting people luckier than you
Why do I have a feeling that we’re near the end of this chapter? It be a nice way to end this chapter on a well ‘nice note’, before having the “Big confrontation” in the next chapter. I could be totally wrong, but we’ll see. The big question now is who is going to confront who first? Whatever happens, I am looking forward to it!
The sort of thing I always worry about: There are no messages sent noting that someone has joined or left the server, by the way.
The extras in the first panel look familiar, like a cameo, or am I crazy?
They are rather suspiciously detailed…
De ja vu characters. There are a lot that I get that feeling about. These give me that feeling.
That they are. <3
Her face when the phone rings before she knows that it is Miel is heartbreaking. So much fear…
Awwww they’re adorable!
Just fyi, the website is occasionally not loading for me, even though other websites do load at those times (so I am pretty sure it’s not my internet). It tries to goes to the url but it just doesn’t finish loading? So I don’t get an error page either when it happens. Just figured I should mention it.
Kinda neat here how Abeille is moving out of more ‘cool toned’ areas back into very warm ones, with Miel being the warmest focal point. :*)