Children are not supposed to “repay”. It is a debt/obligation carried forward to their own offspring. The repayment is in seeing them flourish and creating their own path.
It looks like Mallow switched into conflict-avoiding mode right now. I have my doubts about the long-term feasibility of that approach. The track record for it is not exactly brilliant.
I so agree with you about the debt/obligation. The only thing a child owes to their parents is respect – as long as it goes the other way around too. And Abeille does respect her mother a lot. She could have just ignored her. And here she is, with quiet words and sensible arguments. Big up to her! Just learn and let go, ma’am!
The way you write Abeille’s mom is hauntingly familiar to having to deal with my own mom at times. It’s tough when it SEEMS like they are trying to do a nice/good thing for you, and you have to look like the jerk for saying no, but if you give an inch they will take a mile.
Exactly! It’s not easy to start out on your own and with your parents acting as they have to keep providing things for you by habit when you’re trying to become independent.
Somehow I don’t think the “nutrient processing center” on an ice planet really has that much to do with plants. But the fact that Amaryllis could “get” Abeille a job there, sight unseen, suggests that she has more influence over it than she really should. Which is no doubt her actual motivation; it’s a place she can keep Abeille under her thumb permanently. If she can just get her daughter a job there, any bets on whether she can then get Abeille fired (again) if she disobeys in any way? Good for Abeille on seeing through this witch!
Slow as I can be, I have *just* now noticed the color of the speech bubbles…Abeille’s color is the same as her dad’s, while her mom’s is a different color entirely. Brilliant.
Just because you’re thinking that providing your offspring with what you believe they should want, doesn’t mean it’s what they need from you. Your “providence” comes with the price of control over her life and your daughter doesn’t need that now; she needs to work out her own path and going forward with her adult life despite the struggles is the better form of “repayment” she can give you.
“First you let me pick up the food bill while we are your guests and then you flout me like that, you backhanded ungrateful thing? Let’s see whether you keep your smug face when I let that payment bounce and you have to pick up the bill, you lazy thing. Maybe that will make you think twice about throwing away your next job and mooching off me.”
Well, Gina will likely not make it quite as bad as that: after all, it would make it too easy for Abeille to finally rid herself of that plot element. But that kind of toxicity is comparatively cheap to come up with and somehow has become a part of political culture recently as well.
I imagine Amaryllis will fall back on her usual tricks, only more intense to force her way here; probably as she did before and it only helped drove Abeille to move away from her. Abeille was the guest on this outing of hers; she didn’t demand her mother to pay for dinner nor the earrings and by dining etiquette standard, the inviters should cover the expense. Even then, we all know why she really did that, for guilt-tripping leverage over Abeille.
Reread the whole chapter and I’m falling asleep over the computer (I sleep to get away from noxious stimuli) but with tears leaking every now and then. Gina, it’s frightening that you can make this kind of emotional vampirism o real. Hope to God’s green earth you didn’t have to deal with this stuff IRL. I find myself so anxious, waiting for Abeille to stand up for herself. I like to think I would’ve kicked my own daughter’s butt for staying in such a relationship. I so want to believe that I didn’t hand on this toxicity to her that I suffered from in my own life. Interestingly enough, I’m the first mother in 3 generation to raise my own daughter, so perhaps I have broken the cycle. I hope so, seeing as my daughter raised her own daughter. Thank you Gina, for giving me the ability to haul out my emotions and do a little more self healing.
19 thoughts on “Love Not Found – Ch24, p42”
pax
lol get owned
David
Children are not supposed to “repay”. It is a debt/obligation carried forward to their own offspring. The repayment is in seeing them flourish and creating their own path.
It looks like Mallow switched into conflict-avoiding mode right now. I have my doubts about the long-term feasibility of that approach. The track record for it is not exactly brilliant.
Cha Cha Cha
I so agree with you about the debt/obligation. The only thing a child owes to their parents is respect – as long as it goes the other way around too. And Abeille does respect her mother a lot. She could have just ignored her. And here she is, with quiet words and sensible arguments. Big up to her! Just learn and let go, ma’am!
Merry
GO ABEILLE, GO! YOU CAN DO IT!
MB
THERE it is… the heart of the Lion, against that Hyena of a Mom.
“No thank you.”
Good, she’s standing up for herself.
Maikel Yarimizu
“By leaving?!”
“No, by staying.”
ValkeaKani
The way you write Abeille’s mom is hauntingly familiar to having to deal with my own mom at times. It’s tough when it SEEMS like they are trying to do a nice/good thing for you, and you have to look like the jerk for saying no, but if you give an inch they will take a mile.
Jenny
Exactly! It’s not easy to start out on your own and with your parents acting as they have to keep providing things for you by habit when you’re trying to become independent.
Paul Z
Somehow I don’t think the “nutrient processing center” on an ice planet really has that much to do with plants. But the fact that Amaryllis could “get” Abeille a job there, sight unseen, suggests that she has more influence over it than she really should. Which is no doubt her actual motivation; it’s a place she can keep Abeille under her thumb permanently. If she can just get her daughter a job there, any bets on whether she can then get Abeille fired (again) if she disobeys in any way? Good for Abeille on seeing through this witch!
questionwriter
Slow as I can be, I have *just* now noticed the color of the speech bubbles…Abeille’s color is the same as her dad’s, while her mom’s is a different color entirely. Brilliant.
Jenny
Just because you’re thinking that providing your offspring with what you believe they should want, doesn’t mean it’s what they need from you. Your “providence” comes with the price of control over her life and your daughter doesn’t need that now; she needs to work out her own path and going forward with her adult life despite the struggles is the better form of “repayment” she can give you.
Crane
“yep!” And leave lol
I don’t think that’s how Gina is going to do it, but it’s funny to think about
David
“First you let me pick up the food bill while we are your guests and then you flout me like that, you backhanded ungrateful thing? Let’s see whether you keep your smug face when I let that payment bounce and you have to pick up the bill, you lazy thing. Maybe that will make you think twice about throwing away your next job and mooching off me.”
Well, Gina will likely not make it quite as bad as that: after all, it would make it too easy for Abeille to finally rid herself of that plot element. But that kind of toxicity is comparatively cheap to come up with and somehow has become a part of political culture recently as well.
Jenny
I imagine Amaryllis will fall back on her usual tricks, only more intense to force her way here; probably as she did before and it only helped drove Abeille to move away from her. Abeille was the guest on this outing of hers; she didn’t demand her mother to pay for dinner nor the earrings and by dining etiquette standard, the inviters should cover the expense. Even then, we all know why she really did that, for guilt-tripping leverage over Abeille.
Anja
*incoherent screaming*
Abeille you got this! Stay strong!!!
Deb R.B.
Ma’am, she’s already left, and it’s because everything you’ve done TO her.
E. Bernhard Warg
Not “for,” “to.”
Missy
Stay strong girly! Don’t let her guilt you into doing what she wants or even making you feel bad about it.
Grandmotherbear
Reread the whole chapter and I’m falling asleep over the computer (I sleep to get away from noxious stimuli) but with tears leaking every now and then. Gina, it’s frightening that you can make this kind of emotional vampirism o real. Hope to God’s green earth you didn’t have to deal with this stuff IRL. I find myself so anxious, waiting for Abeille to stand up for herself. I like to think I would’ve kicked my own daughter’s butt for staying in such a relationship. I so want to believe that I didn’t hand on this toxicity to her that I suffered from in my own life. Interestingly enough, I’m the first mother in 3 generation to raise my own daughter, so perhaps I have broken the cycle. I hope so, seeing as my daughter raised her own daughter. Thank you Gina, for giving me the ability to haul out my emotions and do a little more self healing.
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