There’s certainly no problems with staying connected with family & friends here despite the planetary/interstellar distances; Amaryllis just can’t handle being an empty-nester and with whatever insecurities she’s hiding from everyone. Living apart from one another isn’t the same as breaking away from them and for some relationships, some distance from others is beneficial for some family members. Many families, like my own, can handle that while pursuing their life goals.
Repeating myself: I broke with a toxic relative and didn’t talk them for many years, because I would react to them in a way that hurt me and others. Once the resentment passed, I had this Scorpius person (farscape reference) living in my head. I found I could avoid being triggered by their behavior, while keeping some distance from them.. I reconnected with them and just avoided contributing to their hostility. It’s funny that my relatives all live in other countries, sort of like Abeille being on Monotropa.
I could cute you chapter and verse about my maternal malignant beast host tried to spoil so many occasions, but one should suffice. 3 days before my 1981 marriage she announced that since I refused to take my responsibilities seriously she was going to cancel the wedding to take place in her backyard. Fortunately I had been refusing to engage with her ( she just wanted me to act like when in trouble or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout )she kept telling me I’d have no trouble switching to a church venue, 3 days before Easter Sunday. I sat down and actually called one church before saying to myself, this is ridiculous. It’s like her giving me hell for divorcing my ex after only 10 years instead of 18 years like she’d Done with my father. So I got up and said to her. “You’re absolutely right! We’ll have the wedding in MY backyard and I’ll just have to stand here and give every one directions to MY house and explain why it was canceled, would you rather I said it was because you had insisted that it would be no problem to reschedule for a church and none of them would reschedule for a convenient time, or just that you thought I wasn’t taking the arrangements seriously enough? DH will be hosting everyone at my backyard but I’ll have to stand here until after everyone’s come and gone to our house.” Whe HATED how Id called her out.
I can’t imagine the pain. Letting her continue to hurt you is not good. Banish her by letting go.
I so wish there was strawberry comics forum again. I don’t have the words, but you are a familiar and I am eager to read your comments. We are a community.
“Cannot handle an empty-nester” sounds like Amaryllis is helicopter-parenting, needing someone to look after as purpose in life. But she is more like Scylla-parenting, needing someone to drag down as purpose in life.
This is kind of the point in time where I expect Mallow to pinch in as punching-ball.
How about what Abeille wants Abeille to do? Evette might not be dead emotionally for as long as Amaryllis, but there is no point prioritizing the dead above the living.
Whenever Abeille says what she wants, Amaryllis either ignores it or pushes her until she doubts herself/finds it easier to give in.
But now Amaryllis is saying that Evette would want something that Abeille *knows* she didn’t want, based on the diary. That’s a recording, it’s not going to change because Amaryllis pushes on Abeille’s self-doubt. It’s something solid that Abeille can cling to. It probably won’t convince Amaryllis of anything, but having a fact that proves that what Amaryllis says isn’t the truth even if she acts like it is means that all of Amaryllis’ power over Abeille is weakened.
And Abeille’s choice of Monotropia might have been influenced by their talk of starting a garden with strawberries some day, but she hasn’t dedicated her every waking moment towards that goal. She’s been working on building a life here, making friends, even making a solid romantic relationship. She wants to stay here for her own reasons, she just needs strength to resist Amaryllis’ gasslighting/control.
14 thoughts on “Love Not Found – Ch24, p41”
Artsybigrl
GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! I’m glad she’s reflecting on the dream instead of letting Mom run the narrative.
JillOfTrades
Don’t forget, she stated that in her diary too.
Jenny
Not all battles are won by a single blow. There’s more volleys to come here…
Jenny
There’s certainly no problems with staying connected with family & friends here despite the planetary/interstellar distances; Amaryllis just can’t handle being an empty-nester and with whatever insecurities she’s hiding from everyone. Living apart from one another isn’t the same as breaking away from them and for some relationships, some distance from others is beneficial for some family members. Many families, like my own, can handle that while pursuing their life goals.
Kendall🔆🌻
Repeating myself: I broke with a toxic relative and didn’t talk them for many years, because I would react to them in a way that hurt me and others. Once the resentment passed, I had this Scorpius person (farscape reference) living in my head. I found I could avoid being triggered by their behavior, while keeping some distance from them.. I reconnected with them and just avoided contributing to their hostility. It’s funny that my relatives all live in other countries, sort of like Abeille being on Monotropa.
Grandmotherbear
I could cute you chapter and verse about my maternal malignant beast host tried to spoil so many occasions, but one should suffice. 3 days before my 1981 marriage she announced that since I refused to take my responsibilities seriously she was going to cancel the wedding to take place in her backyard. Fortunately I had been refusing to engage with her ( she just wanted me to act like when in trouble or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout )she kept telling me I’d have no trouble switching to a church venue, 3 days before Easter Sunday. I sat down and actually called one church before saying to myself, this is ridiculous. It’s like her giving me hell for divorcing my ex after only 10 years instead of 18 years like she’d Done with my father. So I got up and said to her. “You’re absolutely right! We’ll have the wedding in MY backyard and I’ll just have to stand here and give every one directions to MY house and explain why it was canceled, would you rather I said it was because you had insisted that it would be no problem to reschedule for a church and none of them would reschedule for a convenient time, or just that you thought I wasn’t taking the arrangements seriously enough? DH will be hosting everyone at my backyard but I’ll have to stand here until after everyone’s come and gone to our house.” Whe HATED how Id called her out.
Grandmotherbear
Cute was SUPPOSED to be CITE But it won’t let me edit.
Kendall🔆🌻
I can’t imagine the pain. Letting her continue to hurt you is not good. Banish her by letting go.
I so wish there was strawberry comics forum again. I don’t have the words, but you are a familiar and I am eager to read your comments. We are a community.
E. Bernhard Warg
Her back is turned—pull a Batman!
Artsybigrl
LOL! I agree though, vanish and go no contact if needed.
David
You don’t want to be on the wrong side of Amaryllis. She already got Abeille fired from her job.
David
“Cannot handle an empty-nester” sounds like Amaryllis is helicopter-parenting, needing someone to look after as purpose in life. But she is more like Scylla-parenting, needing someone to drag down as purpose in life.
This is kind of the point in time where I expect Mallow to pinch in as punching-ball.
David
How about what Abeille wants Abeille to do? Evette might not be dead emotionally for as long as Amaryllis, but there is no point prioritizing the dead above the living.
fractalwolf
Whenever Abeille says what she wants, Amaryllis either ignores it or pushes her until she doubts herself/finds it easier to give in.
But now Amaryllis is saying that Evette would want something that Abeille *knows* she didn’t want, based on the diary. That’s a recording, it’s not going to change because Amaryllis pushes on Abeille’s self-doubt. It’s something solid that Abeille can cling to. It probably won’t convince Amaryllis of anything, but having a fact that proves that what Amaryllis says isn’t the truth even if she acts like it is means that all of Amaryllis’ power over Abeille is weakened.
And Abeille’s choice of Monotropia might have been influenced by their talk of starting a garden with strawberries some day, but she hasn’t dedicated her every waking moment towards that goal. She’s been working on building a life here, making friends, even making a solid romantic relationship. She wants to stay here for her own reasons, she just needs strength to resist Amaryllis’ gasslighting/control.
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