And Mallow, your husband, doesn’t count or any other person back on Pasque!? Given the kind of attitude she has towards others as “not good enough” to be around her, it’s understandable Amaryllis likely doesn’t socialize or befriend anyone outside her immediate “family”.
Amaryllis is going to get worse with her “family” if they (Mallow and Abeille) both keep letting her get things her way with the methods and behaviour she used as far. Start showing her how a real adult behaves like, guys!
Mallow’s expression in Panel 1 is perfect, as he realizes “no, crap, she really is this manipulative. How have I been married to her for 25 years without realizing this?” Stay strong, Abeille! Remember this woman JUST got you fired, like, three days ago!
I doubt it too. Let’s be honest: She’s doing complete shit. But I believe that Mallow has not realized how bad his wife is and is in a very, very dark place. She needs, first of all, to realize that she is not losing her second daughter because she is becoming independent, but that she risks really losing her if she continues. Then she will need help to overcome her grief. Because obviously, that’s it.
David
Mallow knows exactly how bad his wife is but has made himself at home with her. I wonder whether Gina lets herself be inspired by current-day politics…
That doesn’t mean that Mallow is particularly happy when Amaryllis goes on one of her frequent rampages. It’s just part of the package.
She uses different levers to move Mallow than she used to move her children. And frankly, he probably long ago accepted that being who she wanted him to be is part of the “cost” of his love. I kind of doubt she even started looking like such a nasty wreck until their kids were old enough to say no. With him she was already getting what she wanted, so she didn’t need tantrums or threats, just gentle persuasion and suggestions.
… And, of course, it’s Abeille’s responsibility to move back to Pasque, rather than Amaryllis even considering moving to Monotropa to be with her daughter.
“Because I truly am your daughter and you give a flying s**t about anybody’s (and most particularly my) feelings but your own, so why would you want me to be different? Aren’t you proud of how much I resemble you?”
Ah man, I can’t wait for this to shift from the crocodile tears to outright rage because it didn’t work.
Mallow, bud, please step up ’cause Abeille should have someone on her side.
Exactly! Amaryllis flip-flops so often with so many different expressions; you can’t tell or trust where she’s being honest, if at all with these theatrics of hers. And she wonders why she feels alone
I wish she was strong enough to call her out. I know that isn’t like Abeille, but I wish she could say, “How could YOU be so unfeeling as to get me fired and making me feel like the bad unwanted child during my sister’s eulogy? My choice to live here doesn’t mean you will lose me, but continuing to override my wants and needs, and to sabotage my life WILL cause you to lose me, forever. Thank you for visiting, but it’s time for you to go home. My home is here.”
“Mom, if you hate it on Pasque that much, why don’t you move? Monotropa could use scientists.” But of course that isn’t what Amaryllis wants. *eyeroll*
Honestly, this woman
It seems like I can’t reply to people. This is in reply to Rebekah. Amaryllis is Abeille”s mother. I don’t think she wenf off on her own, like Abeille. Evette wanted to go off on her own and grow a garden. Something you probably can’t do on Pasque.
Reread the whole chapter and I’m falling asleep over the computer (I sleep to get away from noxious stimuli) but with tears leaking every now and then. Gina, it’s frightening that you can make this kind of emotional vampirism o real. Hope to God’s green earth you didn’t have to deal with this stuff IRL. I find myself so anxious, waiting for Abeille to stand up for herself. I like to think I would’ve kicked my own daughter’s butt for staying in such a relationship. I so want to believe that I didn’t hand on this toxicity to her that I suffered from in my own life. Interestingly enough, I’m the first mother in 3 generation to raise my own daughter, so perhaps I have broken the cycle. I hope so, seeing as my daughter raised her own daughter. Thank you Gina, for giving me the ability to haul out my emotions and do a little more self healing.
This still triggers me, I was the recipient of several wailing calls from my maternal host beast wailing she was not feeling so bad and I needed to drop everything and rush 4 hours to her side to help her get out of bed. This was within 2 months of moving to a life care community where all she had to do was call the nurse on her floor to have a CNA come get her up and help her to the bathroom and help her dress. I had my sciatica flaring up and was in agony myself, which I had told her and every call she reported she was getting so much worse. I was determined to catch her lying as my husband didn’t really believe that she would act this way. He drove me, still in agony, that 4 rs, we had early in the wee small hours to be there about 7:00 when she would start. I got the call as I’d expected, I kept asking if there wasn’t some way to contact the nurse or CNA assigned to her floor and she kept screaming she hadn’t because they wouldn’t come so I had to . Notice she was ASSSUMING they wouldn’t come. We got the next call as we were parking in the lot and I told her we were just arriving. The concierge opened the lobby for us and we went to her room. I was unable to bend down so I couldn’t do an assist to help her get up. When i arrived, she got up on her own, walked to the bathroom on her own, dressed on her own, and instead of using the dining room (meals were included in her rent and breakfast was served from 8 till 9 am) she insisted we drive her to another restaurant she’d been wanting to try out. She had no problem sitting on the hard chairs, but it made my sciatica worse. Afterwards we took her back to her facility, we left. I told her I had a doctor appointment next day. I talked over the points with DH- She had gotten herself out of bed without assistance, walked without assistance, toileted and dressed without assistance. Obviously she had been lying to get me to dance attendance on her. She called a couple of days later saying she had thought we’d come back tso her after the doctor appointment. I told her I was physically unable to do so. I stood pat. Recognizing that she’d been caught out about too weak to get up, she stopped taking her blood pressure and respiratory meds, when she became symptomatic she’d try to get the staff assigned to her floor to call me to come. I would tell them I couldn’t and to ask her if she wanted to go to the hospital. As her symptoms got worst worse finally the floor staff started calling 911 on her. She’d go to the hospital and they would work her up. It was a waste of money as she’d already been worked up and diagnosed and treated. She would ask the nigh shift nurses to call me to come, interupting both my husband’s and my sleep. They’d say “Your mother says you’re her health care surrogate, and we need you to come and help us plan her c are”. (I’m a nurse, and I used teach aaabout advanced directives, so I was very aware of what was needed to invoke them) I would tell the night shift nurses “To invoke a health care surrogacy 2 different doctors need to document the patient is unable to give an informed consent. Has that happened?” The nurses always said no. “Do you think she is capable of giving an informed consent?” They’d always say yes. “A health care surrogate is supposed to let the medical person know what their wishes are, in the event they can’t themselves make them known. Since she can, make them known, I have no need to be involved yet”. Eventually she’d get better, since she was now taking her meds, and go back to her facility and within a couple of weeks it would be lather, rinse, repeat with not taking her meds again.
of course within 6 months, with playing with her meds, her condition deteriorated physically but her mind remained clear enough to sham crocodile tears as she would beg them to call me, and I would tell them ” Since she can make her wants known perhaps you’d best go back and ask if she wants to go to the hospital or stay in place.” My brother, the Golden Child, sometimes came to see her in the hospital, and on Christmas Eve, after he’d driven 6 hours to see her in the hospital, asked if he could stay in her room(They encouraged this, and among other reasons, why they had the concierge position, who had keys to all of the rooms and apartments- the concierge phone being staffed 24/7) and the maternal beast host told him No. He had the same back problems and sciatica I did and was physically impossible to drive 6 hours back to his home.
3 weeks later we were notofied of her death, and I felt like the shackles of slavery had been struck from me.. Please, honeybee, don’t consent for your own oppression
“Mom, I can see you are unable to have a level conversation right now so I’m going to walk away now. When you can have a conversation where you listen to and try to see my perspective, we can meet. Until then, I would appreciate it if you did not speak to me.” I doubt very much she can have that conversation… but she CAN walk away.
35 thoughts on “Love Not Found – Ch24, p43”
Jenny
And Mallow, your husband, doesn’t count or any other person back on Pasque!? Given the kind of attitude she has towards others as “not good enough” to be around her, it’s understandable Amaryllis likely doesn’t socialize or befriend anyone outside her immediate “family”.
Eva
And here’s the tantrum. Come on girl you know it’ll only get worse if you don’t walk away from her shit.
Jenny
Amaryllis is going to get worse with her “family” if they (Mallow and Abeille) both keep letting her get things her way with the methods and behaviour she used as far. Start showing her how a real adult behaves like, guys!
Paul Z
Mallow’s expression in Panel 1 is perfect, as he realizes “no, crap, she really is this manipulative. How have I been married to her for 25 years without realizing this?” Stay strong, Abeille! Remember this woman JUST got you fired, like, three days ago!
JillOfTrades
I doubt it. It seems like it’s more “natural” to him rather than recognizing the signs.
Elseneur
I doubt it too. Let’s be honest: She’s doing complete shit. But I believe that Mallow has not realized how bad his wife is and is in a very, very dark place. She needs, first of all, to realize that she is not losing her second daughter because she is becoming independent, but that she risks really losing her if she continues. Then she will need help to overcome her grief. Because obviously, that’s it.
David
Mallow knows exactly how bad his wife is but has made himself at home with her. I wonder whether Gina lets herself be inspired by current-day politics…
That doesn’t mean that Mallow is particularly happy when Amaryllis goes on one of her frequent rampages. It’s just part of the package.
Rebekah
I think the ‘without Abeille I will be all alone!’ and realized that Amaryllis doesn’t really care about him that much.
Eva
She uses different levers to move Mallow than she used to move her children. And frankly, he probably long ago accepted that being who she wanted him to be is part of the “cost” of his love. I kind of doubt she even started looking like such a nasty wreck until their kids were old enough to say no. With him she was already getting what she wanted, so she didn’t need tantrums or threats, just gentle persuasion and suggestions.
SvaeJat
Abeille lost her legs on that second panel, wink wink
Gina Biggs
Oh, gosh, thanks for catching that! I dropped in the colored for the skirt so she’s got her legs back lol
SvaeJat
I’m so glad, she needed them to stand up for herself on that next page lol 😛
NerdOfAllTrades
… And, of course, it’s Abeille’s responsibility to move back to Pasque, rather than Amaryllis even considering moving to Monotropa to be with her daughter.
David
“Because I truly am your daughter and you give a flying s**t about anybody’s (and most particularly my) feelings but your own, so why would you want me to be different? Aren’t you proud of how much I resemble you?”
Crane
“I’ll be all alone” while her husband is standing right there
My man, PLEASE take the hint.
Kemdall🔆🌻
That’s a good point that she says she would be alone while Mallow is standing there.
Ii’s something that Amaryllis affects an upset child when appealing to both Mallow and Abeille.
Sophie
uh oh…
Kuponut
I’m encouraged by Abeille’s expression in the last panel. She’s not going to succumb this time 😀
E. Bernhard Warg
“What’s Dad, chopped liver?”
Tyrian Rogue
Ah man, I can’t wait for this to shift from the crocodile tears to outright rage because it didn’t work.
Mallow, bud, please step up ’cause Abeille should have someone on her side.
Jenny
Exactly! Amaryllis flip-flops so often with so many different expressions; you can’t tell or trust where she’s being honest, if at all with these theatrics of hers. And she wonders why she feels alone
David
You are quite impatient: it is not like she’ll leave you waiting for long.
Missy
That’s what I’m waiting for too. I know this pattern.
Tess
I wish she was strong enough to call her out. I know that isn’t like Abeille, but I wish she could say, “How could YOU be so unfeeling as to get me fired and making me feel like the bad unwanted child during my sister’s eulogy? My choice to live here doesn’t mean you will lose me, but continuing to override my wants and needs, and to sabotage my life WILL cause you to lose me, forever. Thank you for visiting, but it’s time for you to go home. My home is here.”
Anna
“Mom, if you hate it on Pasque that much, why don’t you move? Monotropa could use scientists.” But of course that isn’t what Amaryllis wants. *eyeroll*
Honestly, this woman
David
Frankly, that isn’t what Abeille wants either.
notamushimaster
I’m a bit confused – what are all the “uh-huh”s? Are they heartbeats? Or is something happening around them that’s making that noise?
Gina Biggs
Blubbering crying sounds. “Sob sob” sounded weird, so I wanted to try to emulate the sounds of crying another way. ^_^
notamushimaster
Thank you for clarifying! <3
Rebekah
Does Amaryllis live on the same planet as her mother? Didn’t she head out on her own as a young adult, too? What a piece of work.
Deb R.B.
Mallow means nothing to her, I see. Stand your ground, Abeille.
Kemdall🔆🌻
It seems like I can’t reply to people. This is in reply to Rebekah. Amaryllis is Abeille”s mother. I don’t think she wenf off on her own, like Abeille. Evette wanted to go off on her own and grow a garden. Something you probably can’t do on Pasque.
Grandmotherbear
Reread the whole chapter and I’m falling asleep over the computer (I sleep to get away from noxious stimuli) but with tears leaking every now and then. Gina, it’s frightening that you can make this kind of emotional vampirism o real. Hope to God’s green earth you didn’t have to deal with this stuff IRL. I find myself so anxious, waiting for Abeille to stand up for herself. I like to think I would’ve kicked my own daughter’s butt for staying in such a relationship. I so want to believe that I didn’t hand on this toxicity to her that I suffered from in my own life. Interestingly enough, I’m the first mother in 3 generation to raise my own daughter, so perhaps I have broken the cycle. I hope so, seeing as my daughter raised her own daughter. Thank you Gina, for giving me the ability to haul out my emotions and do a little more self healing.
This still triggers me, I was the recipient of several wailing calls from my maternal host beast wailing she was not feeling so bad and I needed to drop everything and rush 4 hours to her side to help her get out of bed. This was within 2 months of moving to a life care community where all she had to do was call the nurse on her floor to have a CNA come get her up and help her to the bathroom and help her dress. I had my sciatica flaring up and was in agony myself, which I had told her and every call she reported she was getting so much worse. I was determined to catch her lying as my husband didn’t really believe that she would act this way. He drove me, still in agony, that 4 rs, we had early in the wee small hours to be there about 7:00 when she would start. I got the call as I’d expected, I kept asking if there wasn’t some way to contact the nurse or CNA assigned to her floor and she kept screaming she hadn’t because they wouldn’t come so I had to . Notice she was ASSSUMING they wouldn’t come. We got the next call as we were parking in the lot and I told her we were just arriving. The concierge opened the lobby for us and we went to her room. I was unable to bend down so I couldn’t do an assist to help her get up. When i arrived, she got up on her own, walked to the bathroom on her own, dressed on her own, and instead of using the dining room (meals were included in her rent and breakfast was served from 8 till 9 am) she insisted we drive her to another restaurant she’d been wanting to try out. She had no problem sitting on the hard chairs, but it made my sciatica worse. Afterwards we took her back to her facility, we left. I told her I had a doctor appointment next day. I talked over the points with DH- She had gotten herself out of bed without assistance, walked without assistance, toileted and dressed without assistance. Obviously she had been lying to get me to dance attendance on her. She called a couple of days later saying she had thought we’d come back tso her after the doctor appointment. I told her I was physically unable to do so. I stood pat. Recognizing that she’d been caught out about too weak to get up, she stopped taking her blood pressure and respiratory meds, when she became symptomatic she’d try to get the staff assigned to her floor to call me to come. I would tell them I couldn’t and to ask her if she wanted to go to the hospital. As her symptoms got worst worse finally the floor staff started calling 911 on her. She’d go to the hospital and they would work her up. It was a waste of money as she’d already been worked up and diagnosed and treated. She would ask the nigh shift nurses to call me to come, interupting both my husband’s and my sleep. They’d say “Your mother says you’re her health care surrogate, and we need you to come and help us plan her c are”. (I’m a nurse, and I used teach aaabout advanced directives, so I was very aware of what was needed to invoke them) I would tell the night shift nurses “To invoke a health care surrogacy 2 different doctors need to document the patient is unable to give an informed consent. Has that happened?” The nurses always said no. “Do you think she is capable of giving an informed consent?” They’d always say yes. “A health care surrogate is supposed to let the medical person know what their wishes are, in the event they can’t themselves make them known. Since she can, make them known, I have no need to be involved yet”. Eventually she’d get better, since she was now taking her meds, and go back to her facility and within a couple of weeks it would be lather, rinse, repeat with not taking her meds again.
of course within 6 months, with playing with her meds, her condition deteriorated physically but her mind remained clear enough to sham crocodile tears as she would beg them to call me, and I would tell them ” Since she can make her wants known perhaps you’d best go back and ask if she wants to go to the hospital or stay in place.” My brother, the Golden Child, sometimes came to see her in the hospital, and on Christmas Eve, after he’d driven 6 hours to see her in the hospital, asked if he could stay in her room(They encouraged this, and among other reasons, why they had the concierge position, who had keys to all of the rooms and apartments- the concierge phone being staffed 24/7) and the maternal beast host told him No. He had the same back problems and sciatica I did and was physically impossible to drive 6 hours back to his home.
3 weeks later we were notofied of her death, and I felt like the shackles of slavery had been struck from me.. Please, honeybee, don’t consent for your own oppression
Tess
Actually the best thing she could do is just ignore her Mom, go over and hug Mallow, thank him for visiting and promising she’ll call.
Freya
“Mom, I can see you are unable to have a level conversation right now so I’m going to walk away now. When you can have a conversation where you listen to and try to see my perspective, we can meet. Until then, I would appreciate it if you did not speak to me.” I doubt very much she can have that conversation… but she CAN walk away.
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