I just finished my annual re-read of Pride and Prejudice and I can't help seeing Vee's expressions likened to Mr.Darcy trying to tolerate-and yet presumably seething at- every meeting that threw him in the way of Mrs.Bennet XD
10 thoughts on “Love Not Found ~ Chapter 23, page 08”
And what exactly is it that you do FOR THEM without it mostly being for getting something for YOURSELF, Vera? And what exactly are they supposed to appreciate about YOUR methods without feeling undervalued or commoditized by them?
Ivy and Verbena, you NEED to spell it out HARD to her and not let her bride or skip for her way out of this long overdue talk.
While Ivy’s doing her best, I feel like it would have been even better not to answer her mother’s questions because she was being obnoxious while asking them. Address that, and only that, instead of answering first and deflecting to your preferred topic second.
Much easier said than done, though, especially when you’re feeling uncomfortable already.
Vera also reminds me of my mom who I think unknowingly has narcissistic traits with some gaslighting mixed in. She jumps the gun and says “I” statements too and has played the victim. I am actually a perfectionist due to how hard I have tried pleasing her in the past. Those tendencies are still there, but it sucks when I do make a mistake. At least I acknowledge them.
That seems the same as not being honest about what your problem is with that person, if the daughters haven’t been so already. Plus, Vera had showed that even when you try to ignore her, she’ll try to be sneakier about getting what she wants.
Even if they (Ivy and Verbena) do come out fully about their true feelings about their mother’s behaviour towards them, I doubt Vera will try to fully change how she is or understand their side of things right away. At least, it’ll clear up what misperceptions they’ve avoided remedying at this point. Some things have to be learnt or done the hard way to get better.
It’s been a time since Pride and Prejudice for me, but my memories of it are that one of Mr Darcy’s longterm endearing traits was his near magical equanimity. Now whether our different recollections stem from your more recent exposure to the book or my mind never having been exposed to movie adaptations or other interpretations, I don’t know.
Oh, yes, he bites his tongue around Eliza’s mother for sure, but her mother is one loudmouth woman who is not beyond insulting anyone and has very poor ability to keep quite about things best discussed in private (money, advantageous marriages, etc). Darcy showed extreme patience, but inside he was just repulsed by mom for sure XD I feel like Vee is trying her hardest not to let it all out over the last few pages XD
*Waits for Vera’s daughters to get up and leave together*
To Vera, Ivy is an experiment, a product she is proud to have designed, which isn’t fair to Ivy because she’s a real person, with thoughts and feelings just like Verbena, and everyone else. Vera is proud that her “design” is living a healthy life, with an excellent job, being happy with Aster and Holly. But neither Ivy or Verbena is obligated to be “perfect”, so it’s perfectly okay for them to walk out on Vera. I hope Verbena moves out of Vera’s house, so she can have her space.
10 thoughts on “Love Not Found ~ Chapter 23, page 08”
Jenny
And what exactly is it that you do FOR THEM without it mostly being for getting something for YOURSELF, Vera? And what exactly are they supposed to appreciate about YOUR methods without feeling undervalued or commoditized by them?
Ivy and Verbena, you NEED to spell it out HARD to her and not let her bride or skip for her way out of this long overdue talk.
HylianArcher
Yes, put your unpleasant mother behind you as you walk away from her and go off to enjoy your time elsewhere.
Michel
While Ivy’s doing her best, I feel like it would have been even better not to answer her mother’s questions because she was being obnoxious while asking them. Address that, and only that, instead of answering first and deflecting to your preferred topic second.
Much easier said than done, though, especially when you’re feeling uncomfortable already.
Tiffany
Vera also reminds me of my mom who I think unknowingly has narcissistic traits with some gaslighting mixed in. She jumps the gun and says “I” statements too and has played the victim. I am actually a perfectionist due to how hard I have tried pleasing her in the past. Those tendencies are still there, but it sucks when I do make a mistake. At least I acknowledge them.
Gastly
Gosh I know it’s easier said than done but they need to cut their mother OUT, she’s got to learn a lesson that I think only grey rocking can solve
Jenny
That seems the same as not being honest about what your problem is with that person, if the daughters haven’t been so already. Plus, Vera had showed that even when you try to ignore her, she’ll try to be sneakier about getting what she wants.
Even if they (Ivy and Verbena) do come out fully about their true feelings about their mother’s behaviour towards them, I doubt Vera will try to fully change how she is or understand their side of things right away. At least, it’ll clear up what misperceptions they’ve avoided remedying at this point. Some things have to be learnt or done the hard way to get better.
David
It’s been a time since Pride and Prejudice for me, but my memories of it are that one of Mr Darcy’s longterm endearing traits was his near magical equanimity. Now whether our different recollections stem from your more recent exposure to the book or my mind never having been exposed to movie adaptations or other interpretations, I don’t know.
Gina Biggs
Oh, yes, he bites his tongue around Eliza’s mother for sure, but her mother is one loudmouth woman who is not beyond insulting anyone and has very poor ability to keep quite about things best discussed in private (money, advantageous marriages, etc). Darcy showed extreme patience, but inside he was just repulsed by mom for sure XD I feel like Vee is trying her hardest not to let it all out over the last few pages XD
Sophie
*Waits for Vera’s daughters to get up and leave together*
To Vera, Ivy is an experiment, a product she is proud to have designed, which isn’t fair to Ivy because she’s a real person, with thoughts and feelings just like Verbena, and everyone else. Vera is proud that her “design” is living a healthy life, with an excellent job, being happy with Aster and Holly. But neither Ivy or Verbena is obligated to be “perfect”, so it’s perfectly okay for them to walk out on Vera. I hope Verbena moves out of Vera’s house, so she can have her space.
Roes
Ugh… The food control is honestly one of the worst things here
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